Creative Dreaming. . .

Holes

2012-03-05T08:32:00.007-08:00

Holes in my wall;
nothing's in the sky.
Holes in my memory...
I don't know why.

Left something behind;
what could it be?
Holes of my past...
Were they part of me?

Whoa! What's this?
I don't recognize that way!
Is it the whole I've missed?
Wouldn't know it anyway...

Don't remember why...
What does it matter?
Let it go, and
live another day.

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

I Know WHERE my love flows...

2012-02-28T01:26:00.000-08:00

My daughter, Hali Mariko Hesley will go on a church mission to Vladivostok, Russia in June 2012 for eighteen months. I may not know why love flows, but I do know to where it flows... I'm very proud of you, Hali! You've grown and matured from the little "Ratkid" with the big smile and impish sense of humor to a loving and beautiful woman with a gentle and kind spirit...

I love you, muchly, Smunch...

Dad

Why Does Love Flow?

2012-02-17T19:51:00.000-08:00

Love’s Confusing,

Laughable,

Amusing,

and Changeable.

Love’s Distressing,

Kindly,

Digressing,

and Blinding.

Love’s Warming,

Giving

Glowing,

and Lightening.

Love’s Caring,

Passionate,

Selfish,

and Binding.

All this Love feels

delightful, and

tender; yet, still,

I'm frightful.

I crossed

The Bridge.

I made the leap,

but made no passage...

I still don’t know…

Maybe a few others do?

But Love feels like another

of those Silent Knowings…

I feel my Self glow!

Love flows luxuriously, and

smoothly through my soul.

I’m soothed, so deliriously…

Love feeds my soul with

renewing energy aglow!

But, I still wonder…

Why DOES Love flow?

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T15:21:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! It is the year of the Water Dragon...

Chinese Year of the Dragon

Bing or Google that! Ha!

;-)

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T07:50:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas to all!

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Dreams of Dreams

2011-12-14T21:16:00.000-08:00

I dream of dreams

that I've not yet seen...

Never knowing what to expect

of their mystical scheme.

Dreams for love

we want to feed.

Dreams of feelings

that feel surreal.

Lusty dreams of desire,

that we love to fear.

Dreams of loving love

for another near.

Exhausting dreams

of fanciful control,

delving and playing

with careless dare.

Dreaming of

more of more,

never having

enough of enough.

Why do I dream the

dreams of other's?

What is my purpose

of knowing their druthers?

Perhaps I'm just a voyeur,

and lack my own insight;

devoid of clear visions,

eclipsed by other’s might.

I have fears of my own

of not being good enough.

My own version of never

having enough of enough.

But I've learned to

surrender and accept

my dreams of dreams

with my lack of depth.

So, I work to dream

and to observe what is.

Can I make real these

dreams of what can be?

Lemons into Lemonade!

2011-12-02T23:05:00.000-08:00

Such a sad day, yesterday... The loss of a tree my family has known since 1989...

When life hands you lemons... Make lemonade!

Please read Hannah's blog...Thanks Hannie! She's one of my three daughters... Harmony, Jan the Man, Hannah, Hali, and Derek the Son-in-Law... They did good!

I love my girls and boys!

My daughter, Hannah's blog... Please read!

Look at Harmony's Blog, too!

;-)

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

A Solitary Journey Together

2011-11-28T23:54:00.000-08:00

My outward traveling poorly

negates my inner worries.

It's just no substitute for

my solitary journey’s.

No longer limited by space or time,

I leave this world's endless mazes,

and travel through psychic places,

without my senses or physical traces.

This journey, I take inside of me...

Not searching, nor pensive,

and without my worldly connection,

I see ahead a bridge of shimmering clarity.

Intensely, I consider the bridge,

and I ponder it's mysterious meaning.

Is this ethereal bridge real?

What!? It's becoming something else...

This bridge is another Beginning,

and apparently, another first big step.

I've shrugged my yoke of fears,

so, laughingly, I just leapt!

Vivid visions of Creations!

Look! Dark after endings,

and Light from beginnings,

like the skins I’m perpetually shedding.

A Woman of White,

and a Woman of Green,

they speak to me softly

of scenes I may dream.

Animals, people, and jungles,

and past events I’ve bungled!

But the outcome is different here,

all because, I've lost my fear of fear.

Love, and the melding of my Self and self;

I feel my former pain transmuting

to a golden state of wealth.

I feel better now, without my self-rebuking.

Ah ha! There IS more to

imagination than meets the eye...

Come on! Take a chance with

this chance; please, give it a try!

Let your heart burst widely and

ride your spirit's carousel of energy...

Smile, and jump across your bridge!

It’ll be the start of your splendid synergy!

Take a chance with a chance…

Could this journey change your life's part?

With a warrior’s intention and purpose,

perhaps, you’ll travel your path with a heart.

The Sounds of Naught

2011-11-20T12:40:00.000-08:00

The drumming is soothing...
My soul releases me to see
the "as if," and the "what will be,"
yet, happily, none are "of me."

No excessive thinking,

I see shapeless notions.
At first, they appear as
from my basic emotions.

The thoughts are still

and menacing...
Black thoughts;
primitive and gripping!

But, I let go of my fear,

I feel,
and I listen...
Oh! How the sounds do glisten!

Hummingbird songs,

and The Eagle's cries,
I see their vibrations,
like words popping in my eyes!

The feel of soft words,

the music of child's rhymes,
the sights that I hear are
not from my normal line.

What are these

sounds?
From where
do they come?

"Silent knowledge is nothing but

direct contact with intent."
So, listen to your naught;
It is time well spent!

Want to share in the Silence?

Then use no self-reflection...
Go see your Sounds of Naught
with your Unbending Intention.

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Sharing Spirit Energy

2011-10-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

Alone; with hopeful

thoughts and open heart,
I dreamily wait and surrender

to the unknowing of this state.

Softly, your feminine spirit
silently surrounds me,
and your presence fills my void
with the glow of your waif-like soul.

Reclining, care-freely I smile,
not knowing the where,
the how high, nor the what,
and certainly, not the why...

I’m twilight here, and when
we embrace, I let go of
my hard heart and pain,

I feel now the lightness of grace!

Bright spirit and perfection,
compliments yours and mine,
Yin and Yang join together
in soft light of the sublime.

At first, I'm confused...
But, I yield to your femininity,
yet, I retain my masculinity.
Intently, we combine without enmity...

I know the sweetness
and the where that I'm at...
Purposely, we meld and merge,
as we mate in our own two ways...

Loving our selves, no longer

knowing our self-ish selves,
we remember not of our old caring…
But, will we know the why this new sharing?

Tenderness, and softness,
and strength, and calm...
Easily, uneasy souls join together,
gracefully, almost as if one.

For Esther Mitsuko Oka… Rest In Peace... August 30, 2011

2011-08-30T03:35:00.000-07:00

The Wheel of Time turns…

A construct of our mind,

we exhaust our self’s trying to

slow-burn limited time.

Preoccupied with death,

we’re afraid to live life out

to our temporal last breath.

Time’s a fickle guest at best…

Time stays too long,

time stays too short,

yet we exhort it to
leave us more.

A great serpent that

swallows its own tail,

time doggedly stings us

like a stepped-on nail.

Stumbling and swearing,

we complain time isn’t fair!

Time feels sharp, and we

try to defeat it, by more doing dare.

How do we slow it down?

Make love to it with need?

Cheat death with time?

Stretch it with Einsteinian speed?

Can we turn

time on a dime?

Please, stop the
march of time!

Dying ends time's brutal

march with death…
Can we mortals kick out
this untimely guest?

Dying is our self’s

way of killing time.

But, why should we kill

something so sublimely fine?

The Art of Dying is about

nullifying self’s demise.

My intention is to practice

dying, so I wisely keep trying.

Why fight time’s ending?

Why fight non-existent time?

Self is no friend to self; so Self,
destroy mind's time bending!

Let ego’s time go!

We’re spiritually timeless!

Let time go it’s own way;

don’t let the serpent beguile us!

We’re endless,

and we’re timeless!

Just like the serpentine

Wheel of Time.

Without beginning or ending,

and with purpose-full

unbending;
just let time go!

The Art of Dying
is surrendering and swallowing
that serpent in the Garden,

and existing forever,
for our ever un-ending…

For Phylis G. Hesley, My Stepmother... Rest In Peace... Aug 8, 2011

2011-08-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

Walking alone
in the warm moonlight,
lightning bugs flashing softly,
and forlornly, for me this night. 

My legs feel like lead,
my arms they barely swing...
An empty warmth fills my head 
with the Silent Knowing it brings...

The Mother of others and me 
quietly, she passed away...
Her memories will fade for some,
and yet, her Possibilities, they gleam!

She did her best for others,
and in her salty and colorful way,
she gave love to father and family,
and I'm thankful for Her this day. 

I pray she has peace and love 
and her new adventure she enjoys.
I pray she learns of the Light and the Dark
and that Knowing she will employ. 

I'm a little jealous of her this night...
But I'm pleased for her Knowing,
because I Know she Knows now the
Knowledge, and she positively glows of it! 

Her Silent Knowing is hers,
and after passing through the veil,
God serves her love and compassion,
so, my family, there is no need to wail. 

She wings!
She soars!
And her Soul
is Free!

With no need of time for her,
who on Earth can really know her 
Boundlessness and Endlessness
and what her Soul may come To Be?

Perhaps she'll sail the universe?
Maybe she'll be a bird of songs?
Or maybe she'll be just a drop of rain?
Perhaps of these things she's longed...

If You were in her place,
what songs of your new universe
could You, and would You,
happily and loudly sing?

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Timeless Wanderings...

2011-07-04T00:33:00.000-07:00

There are times

I think I'm lost...

Devoid of reference,

living lucid dreams.

All at high cost...

Creatively dreaming

of new existences

with immunity in

my Self's beautiful

and Active Infinities.

Directionless,

yet Boundless...

Energized,

and Focused...

I'm a Timeless Wanderer.

Temporal body

and Ageless Spirit,

Together, we channel

Knowing from the

the Universal Library.

Silent Knowledge

that changes stubborn self.

Self innately loves it,

but self hates it,

and makes such a fuss!

self says, “Don’t

confuse me with the facts!

I’ve already made

up my mind! Self!

Your efforts, are all in vain!"

But, listen to your Self

that Loves selfish self...

Feel the warm feeling,

of Truth surging down

and up your spine.

From the Pentatonic

chimes that mesmerize

with restless winds,

playing endless songs
of God's graces and joy.

Listening to the chime's sing

of Boundless Possibilities...

The songs I feel;
they resonate,

within and without me.

Chimes,
that sing the same song…

"Surrender, my friend,

and just

Let It Be."

TC,

Michael

Bridges

2011-06-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

In A Separate Reality by Carlos Castaneda, Don Juan Mateus is quoted that "once the idea of taking death as a companion, it becomes a witness to our acts." He said, "when the premise is accepted, in whatever mild form, a bridge is formed which extends across the gap between our world of daily affairs, and something that is in front of us, but has no name; something that is lost in a fog, and doesn't seem to exist; something so terribly unclear that it cannot be used as a point of reference, and yet, it is there, undeniably present." The unknown.

Don Juan claimed that "the only being on earth capable of crossing over that bridge was a warrior: silent in his struggle, undetainable because he has nothing to lose, functional and efficacious because he has everything to gain."

In my the previous blog entry, "An Interesting Dream This Morning..." I intentionally left out two parts of the dream. I'm not sure why I did that, perhaps its because I didn't fully accept the symbolism of the lucid dream. Last night, after reading Don Juan's comments in Castaneda's book The Wheel of Time, I realize that I should include the two facts I left out. 1) The castle wasn't completely deserted. There was a feminine spirit present who showed me the way to the wooden door and the exit to the castle. 2) When I looked over the edge of the spire with the ship perched on it, I saw something else besides baggage, clothes, etc. I saw the remains of people who discarded their unneeded bodies over the edge.

Those two parts of the lucid dream, bothered me somewhat, and I left them out of the narrative. First, I'm not completely sure of the significance of the feminine spirit. Second, while I understood the part of the vision of the discarded bodies, I wasn't completely comfortable with writing about it, primarily because I wasn't sure if it was a "physical death" of the body or a spiritual death of the ego. I'm quite sure now that it isn't just the physical death, but it is both the death of the individual human ego, and also it is the death of the body, because it is no longer significant to the spirit/Soul. Or, we are not our bodies.

I also wrote "Standing at the helm, I took the Wheel of Time in my hands..." I didn't know of Castaneda's book The Wheel of Time until after I wrote and posted the previous blog. I didn't know it existed until I did a web search for Castaneda about a week ago, found the book and bought it. I didn't remember mentioning the Wheel of Time in the previous blog entry. So, feminine spirits (think about males accepting their feminine side, Yin/Yang), bridges formed across gaps that only warriors (I'm a retired military officer) can cross, deaths of the ego and body, Wheel of Time, journeys into the unknown, etc., is just too much to be coincidence. Sometimes, I feel that its only my "over-active" imagination (to quote a friend) that strings together what my subconscious wants. And all of it seems very convenient now that I've written about it after the previous blog. But, I know with every fiber of my being that it is true. Instead of being slightly freaked out about the lucid dream, and Don Juan's quotes, I'm very calm about this. There is no return bridge. A-Z...

My friend Steve Kubacki told me that I've already crossed the bridge, and that "you just don't know it yet." He said that it takes time for reality to catch up with the present... Like a spirit who stays for a while, because it doesn't realize it's body is dead, but eventually even its reality catches up with it. Wow! Reality IS kinder than our thoughts.

And, I believe Steve is right...

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

An Interesting Dream this Morning...

2011-05-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

Dreams are interesting…

A dream; no a vision of a story unfolding…

I was the main character in a struggle to climb a high, steep, and slippery spire of rock with a castle at the top. I strained, I slipped, and I bloodied myself, and yet I was relentless in my climb to the "top." Nothing could stop me. There were many dangers, distractions, and false paths. At the top, and after great effort, and leaving all behind, I entered the large unlocked castle doors, only to find it deserted. Devoid of people, but well-lived in, I felt the spiritual presence that attracted me to see what was there within the confines of the masterly built and airy home in the clouds. It was finely laid out, with tapestries, large meeting places, well-used furniture, towering bookcases, and great fireplaces. But yet, it felt very much like it was a home, not a fortress of solitude. Whoever lived there had a great life in the seclusion and safety of the castle. It had parapets, armaments, a grand view from on high, and paintings of happy and pleasant castle experiences, but it was empty now. Whomever lived there was gone. They hadn’t been gone very long.

I felt the energy of the spirits of those that lived there before. They spoke to me...

Their spiritual energy called to me, and I was drawn to a small, and apparently, recently unlocked thick wooden door that was curiously left open. Inside was a stairway that led steeply down and outside of the castle. There were no lights or handholds, just the feeling that it was the “right way” out of the castle. I walked down perhaps 100 stairs, and they ended at a wooden walkway across to another spire of rock with a finely crafted wooden sailing ship that shone brightly with white sails, and lit up inside with a warm heavenly light. The ship sat squarely on top of the spire of rock. No one was around the ship. What a curious sight! Why didn’t I see the other spire of rock when I climbed the winding path to the castle?

Carefully, I tested the wooden walkway, found it was sound, and I cautiously walked across the elevated path to the ship. It was sunny, and there were bright happy clouds in the blue sky. The clouds beckoned me across, and I began to walk faster, feeling that I would find something important in the sailing ship. I giggled and laughed as I walked across the wooden path, smiling happily with the idea of finding importance within the beautiful sleek craft. I stepped off the wooden path, and as I was admiring the ship's clean design, behind me the wooden walkway disintegrated. Strange, I didn’t feel any fear, or regret, as I stood there with no expression, calmly watching the wooden path dissolve, leaving no apparent way off the nearly vertical spire of rock.

Before me lay the ship, sitting on its keel. It wasn’t a proud ship, just a ship humble by design. Before climbing aboard, I walked around the ship noting its lines, its functionality, and I noticed it emanated the same spiritual energy that was in the castle that drew me here in the first place. The bright work was lovely; it shone like gold, and the wood was perfectly varnished with the painstaking love and care of a master shipbuilder. Whoever the builder of the ship was, the craftsman cared much about it. The ship felt alive with loving Purpose and Intention…

Looking down the spire, I noticed there appeared far below baggage from travelers that looked like it was thrown off the towering spire. The suitcases, trunks, and satchels were smashed, and I could see belongings of much “value” lying below. In the piles of apparently unwanted things were the clothes of people who tossed them over the edge with their baggage. Apparently, no roller bags full of attachments or human trappings are needed here.

I carried no baggage with me in my climb up and down the spires. Just myself. No food, or water, only my simple utility climbing clothing on my body. I was quite comfortable on the rock spire. I was quite warm, and feeling secure, I removed all my clothing and tossed them over the side with the other useless articles of human wants and needs. Smiling, I turned way from the rocky edge, and moved toward the craft with my own Intention and Purpose, onto the walkway and the ship. It seemed to glow with purity, energy, feeling, and intelligence. I moved aft to the helm, and there on a bright, shiny engraved plate of brass was the name Deliverance. A ship named Deliverance; I thought, from what? I took the wheel in my hands, and it moved like a large airplane’s yoke. It rolled left and right, and forward and aft. This wasn’t a ship of the water like I have seen before; it was a ship for Air!

Exploring the ship, I found it a practical and easy-living place to travel to destinations unknown to me. No evidence showed of where Deliverance had been, or where it’s going. I felt that it was waiting for someone to give it a purpose since there appeared to be no pre-programmed destination. So, Deliverance isn’t a ferry, Deliverance is a ship outfitted to explore the unknown with no destination. Deliverance seemed to be only designed for the journey. No compass, no maps, an exploratory ship that carries no baggage, or ties to anything. No cravings, no aversions, no desires, Deliverance felt like Pure Intention and Purpose. Just then, I felt what powers it… It isn’t wind driven… It’s powered by the Boundless and Endless Four Winds of Purpose cleansed by the pure energy of the Universe’s Unbending Intention. Feeling pleased, I made my way up to the main deck, and I sat at the helm. Oddly, the helm felt like it was custom-made for my spirit.

Why is this ship here? Who made this? Why now? I sat near the helm, feeling why this happened, and then it came…

My Soul answered, quietly, silently, and like a cool gentle summer breeze lovingly caressing me; it said, “We made it for All of Us…” "We made it with Self-Love of self, Right-Action, much Self’s self-forgiveness, and with Boundless Compassion for any who wish to Surrender to the Journey."

Standing at the helm, I took the Wheel of Time in my hands, and as I pushed forward with all my Love, Intention and Purpose gently filled Deliverance's sails, and we lightly lifted away from the rocky perch. Together, we're propelled not from the what, but instead, we're drawn to the infinity of places of Great Beauty and the Great Unknown.

It was then that I woke up from the "dream."

Some dream, huh?

TC,
Michael

Addendum: My friend Steve Kubacki says the dream is this…

"A voyage from the citadels of safe but unrealized and so empty grandiose musings into the vast space of unknown and risky realities, thereby delivering you from unsatisfying finite possibilities to the substantive peace, wonder and joy of infinite actualities that transcend time." Steve does have a way of saying things exactly right...

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

2011-05-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! We all love you!

Theo Marcene Campbell Hesley 1929-1975

With all our love,

Dennis

Denese

LaNaya

Michael

Marcene

Michelle

Kelley

Shirlee

self's Delusions

2011-04-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

Politicians,

Professors,

Prophets,

and the Powerful…

Pharisees,

Prognosticators,

Pundits,

and the Powerless…

All have in common,

self-righteousness and

bridge-less distance between
their self's deluded views.

Science and religion

still hate each other…

For they are conjoined,

but not yet reconciled…

Left and Right,

seeing with prideful disdain.

Left and Right wants you

to suffer their self's pity-full pain.

Powerful and powerless not seeing,
yet most with much muddled thought.

Seeing with only their senses,

and with their self's great doubt…

Great People of intellect, filled

with much useless knowledge of nothing.

Souls without knowledge, blessed
with the nothing of Self's Silent Knowing.

Most not Knowing Truth,

but smug with knowing nods…

Prideful with self-importance,

yet lost, without even a notice.

Most limited, and sense-less,

with only flatness in sight.

Soul's Boundlessness and Endlessness,

silenced by ego's malicious might!

Most are deluded, yet,

their own delusions they cannot see.

For their delusions are their collective
sameness… Victims… Misery loves company!

Yet, some Soul's of Self's are

silent with Clarity of Sight.

Their Soul and Self, have no

desire for self's-righteous delight.

Do you know only emotions?

Yet, ignore feelings of Truth?

Ignoring Right Action? How long will

you exist without Intention's pursuit?

Unbending Intent and Purpose,

unlocks Self-less Actions of Love.

Love's an Action verb my friend…
My wish is for you to Know this!

Why fight like petty people,

each with thoughts of self knowing?

Turn within… Can you see Self's Boundless

and Endless Possibilities glowing?

Surrender and Undo
your self-inflicted damage...

Take out your trash!

Let go of that bully we call our "self."

Go ahead, slice it all away!
You'll never miss it...
See your Self in a new way!
Try it, finally… This is a new day...

Copyright © 2011 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Movies that will elevate your Self...

2011-04-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

What do these movies all have in common? They're all uplifting and entertaining, and best of all, if you watch them, they'll elevate awareness of your Self and our existence.

Does anyone know which movie is considered the "highest" in consciousness using Dr. David Hawkins Scale of Consciousness? Why is it the "highest?" Here is a hint: it's probably one you've not watched, but it's in the list below... Many of the movies are on Netflix, and you can also buy them on Amazon.com. Enjoy watching them!

2001: A Space Odyssey

About Schmidt

Amadeus

Avatar

A Beautiful Mind

Barefoot in the Park

Ben Hur

Big Fish

Chariots of Fire

Citizen Kane

Contact

Dickens’ Christmas Carol

Driving Miss Daisy

Doctor Zhivago

Empire of the Sun

Fantasia

Field of Dreams

Forrest Gump

From Here to Eternity

Gandhi

Gone with the Wind

Hamlet
Hearts in Atlantis

Hook

Inception

It’s A Wonderful Life

KPAX

Little Buddha

Lord of the Rings:

The Fellowship of the Ring

The Two Towers

The Return of the King

Lost Horizon
Meet Joe Black

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Saturday Night Fever

Shakespeare in Love

The Man From Earth

The Matrix Series:

The Matrix

The Matrix Reloaded

Matrix Revolutions

My Fair Lady

Napoleon Dynamite

Peaceful Warrior

The African Queen

The Big Blue

The Color Purple
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Natural

The Lion King

The Philadelphia Story

The Princess Bride

The Pursuit of Happyness

The Quiet Man

The Right Stuff

The Shift

The Sound of Music

The Wizard of Oz

Rain Man

Slumdog Millionaire

Singing in the Rain

Terms of Endearment

Titanic

Toy Story

West Side Story

What Dreams May Come

What the Bleep?

Winged Migration

TC,

Michael

Security Forever?

2011-03-11T00:39:00.000-08:00

Few things last forever,
and forever's a long time...
Few things lasts forever,
and yet, it's something sublime.

Few things last forever,
like our Spirit's and Love's energy...
Few things might not last forever,
like lover's love, and matter in entropy.

Our lives won't last forever,
yet, we live like life is endless.
Our fear of dying, our outlook of "never,"
keeps us in denial of our unknown forever.
.
Endless security is a useless desire,
yet, we live in fear and much self-lying...
Endless security is a myth of epic fiction,
yet, there is wisdom in self's myopic dialectic.

Why do we live like nothing ends?
For all things must end and begin,
and all things must pass...
So, make amends before our ego's fearful end.

Our limited energy is wasted on
our desire for this life's forever.
In our humanly form, our energy is limited,
so, use energy wisely, for what really matters.

What really matters to you?
Is it money? Is it love?
Is it power over others?
Or, the Known in our mind's endless grey matter?

We want our endless security forever!
We want it now! So deny it to me never...
But, security is fleeting, and never forever,
and your Self knows this... All for the better...

Living just for the unknown future,
leaves us with little to live for the now.
We miss "what is," and "as if,"
in pursuit of our endless asking of self's "why not?"

Why use our limited energy
on the pursuit of endless security?
Why go on ego's quest of it's
fictional and endless forever?

Embrace our endings and beginnings...
See your Self's beginningless and endlessness...
With Intention and Purpose, pursue
with honesty, the Root of Our Existence.

"To Be," is Endless, and Forever,
and it lasts for all of Eternity...
Accept your Endless Eternity, and the Wisdom
of your life's endless insecurities.

Gracefully Accept and Surrender to
your Existence as Life in Blissful Eternity...
Don't waste your life's limited energies
on useless pursuit of self's fictionalities.

Because, the question to ask your self is...
Now really... Do you have much of a real
Choice, or say, in all of this Eternal Evolution
anyway?

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Please Listen... by Garth and Clifford Hockersmith

2011-03-09T16:54:00.000-08:00

With permission from Garth, I wanted to post this link to a song by Garth and Clifford Hockersmith called, "Please Listen..."

I don't feel any introduction is necessary... It's better to just listen to the song.

I don't know Cliff, but I do know Garth. I'm honored to even know him... We have helped each other over the last few years. Garth is 29, with the awareness of what seems like lifetimes of knowledge and Light.

For Cliff; you are a beautiful man... We all hope to hear more from you and Garth...

So, please listen to "Please Listen..."

For now, it's only on Facebook. It is not available for download, or resale.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/video/video.php?v=200990550448&comments

The link above can be shared, as long as credit is given to the Brother's Hockersmith.

"Please Listen..." Lyrics and music is Copyrighted by Garth and Clifford Hockersmith. They reserve all rights for "Please Listen..."

With respect for the Hockersmith's,
Michael

Blog is Copyrighted (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Poetry and Flying High

2011-02-22T14:15:00.000-08:00

Poetry... I didn't know this until a couple of months ago... Not until I let poetry write me... Poetry's the swift kick in the gonads! It's the punch in the nose, the sharp slap in the face that stalks me and takes me by surprise! To me, poetry's emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and sensuously, my velvet jolt, and my giga-watt shock of beauty! Perhaps, I could even call it "God shock..." Poetry's the combination of letting my sweet inner silence and knowing deliver the electrifying jolt from my soul that keeps me on the path to Self-awareness. I just do the best I can... This jolt, through unbending intention and purity of my purpose, reinforces my belief that in this world of so much suffering and pain, that I can still feel and give love, and it's alright... Even if we receive precious little in return...

Thank you, don Juan and Carlos Castaneda, and Steve Kubacki...

Flying's my sorcery, my artistry, and it's really the most fun I have with my clothes on... I've had few inhibitions in flying, I've taken my flying to the limits of the body, mind, soul and machine. I took one flying lesson, and BAM! When I see something I want, I just go for it... I went for it! But, I never want to own it, just co-exist and join with it. I never feel there is a separate flying machine and my body. There's only the us, the we, and the melding of organic and non-organic life spirits... The aircraft is alive to me... Hmmm... Like making love... I make love with everything I fly and it loves me back! Ok, that's intense, but it's the difference between a man who just fly's aircraft, and an aviator... The person who merely fly's is a technician, competent, but doesn't fly through their soul... The aviator is an artist, a slave to the art of flying, a lover who transcends method with their multi-dimensional love making style... Maybe I can take you flying someday? In a wholesome, and innocent way...

Thank you, Ernest K. Gann, Antoine de Saint Exupery, Darrell Hoff, and my wonderful Dad, who helped me know to go for what I want...

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Stroking the Ego

2011-02-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

Self-serving

spiritual gain,

serves our pain,

feeding self’s disdain.

Wanting to be

free…

Freedom from what?

Mind doesn’t see…

Stroking our egos…

Yeah…

Faster…

Faster!

We want,

whatever it is…

We’ll kill for it,

just to serve it more…

We’ll lie to our self’s,

to forget about the festering sore…

Give it to me!

More of some more…

Stroking our egos…

More…

Uh-huh…

Uh-huh!

Your itchy ego

needs a scratch…

A never ending, and

impatient mis-match…

We look for love,

in all the

wrong

spaces…

Stroking our egos...

Mmm…

Yes…

Yes!

Ego loves to be

served…

Love, loves

to serve!

Ego doesn’t want

“Itself” to end…

It never wants

“Itself” to mend…

Stroking our egos…

Stop!

Don’t…

Don’t stop!

An endless fight

with self and pain...

Ego says, “Give me

more! More exquisite pain!

There is more…

Much more in store…

But ego

fights the Painless Soul…

Stroking our egos…

Wait…

What are you doing?

Keep doing more!

Ego’s loves it’s circle of pain

and sorrow…

Ego repeats it again,

and again; more on the morrow…

Self wants freedom,

and To Be…

self wants Self,

not To Be…

Stroke me more…

Why are you stopping?

Stroke me more…

Stop! Don’t go!

Why do we do this?

Why hurt our self’s?

Soul asks self, why hurt

other’s for gain, only for our self’s?

You don’t need this inglorious pain…

Love serves,

ego loves to be served…

Feeding our pain, never ever serves…

Let go of your suffering!

It serves no function…

Pain is optional…

Kill it with Intention.

The Self’s Will is to

heal, and give Purpose

and direction, and desire

to serve Light's Purpose.

Self’s Purpose is to

help let go of our payoff in pain…

So let go of your suffering,

for serving self’s ego, is only in vain…

Love your Self, and be kind to self!

There is so much for Us to gain…

Much Love to gain for Others, too!

Just let go! Let go of your self's useless and egoic pain…

Sowing the Seeds of Love

2011-02-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

A Woman of Green from her

place of youthful vigor,

came to our circle of

pining and useless snigger.

She watched us as we

craftily criticize
the loving hearts of men and women;

the most valuable of our sweetest prizes.

Taking great gashing bites with our

jaws of self-righteous delight;

we placed them in our open

and prideful gaping maws.

Barely chewing

and mashing;

almost swallowing

their silly heart’s whole…

The Woman of Green,

watched with fascination,

as we enjoyed our self’s

in our gluttonous mastication.

We ignored her tender stare,

as we emptily looked at her

with our toxic glares.

For we love to hate, without a care…

She held a newspaper written
with moods of despair.

The paper was finely shaped,

as a funneled cone, holding some ware.

Something inside the paper

was numerous and green…

Small seeds of what she called,

"Love, that goes between…”

Those seeds were energetic!

They shone and they quaked!

She said “they will move your

hearts, if you’ll only partake…”

They looked delicious like

shelled pistachios appear,

but few partook of the seeds,

that she sows from a near.

I took a chance for a chance;

my heart was broken anyway…

I took a chance with my receptive,

but hopelessly broken heart.

Her green seed was luscious

and sweet to my taste.

With respect, I chewed the

Seed of Love, with no undue haste.

Feeling its Energy and Freedom's Renewal,

seed nourished my needful body of greed...

I was filled by Sweet Love’s Energy of Source!
Not knowing why, her seed, served the greatest of deeds...

A few more from our circle saw

my change, and felt of their empty need…

So, a few more from our cynical circle,

partook of her surprising green seed.

Our eyes opened,

and we saw with great speed,

how we sniggered, and hated,

and before, how we ruined man’s Self-less deeds.

Only a few consumed

seeds from this Woman of Green.

For their pride and their self's-disdain

feeds them, and their endless pain...

The Woman of Green,

her love for us, exceeded her need...

So she gave us the Seeds of Love;

she gave her progeny, without self-ish greed.

Now, those Seeds of Love,

they grow and move men’s hearts!

They Love with kindness and care,
and they Love Self-less-ly, with great dare!

The Woman of Green
sows the Power of Love,
planting one Seed
with one Soul...

Changing the world with
one seed for each Heart...
Changing us forever,
each of us, one at a time...

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley

Scorpio and Gemini

2011-02-19T00:15:00.000-08:00

Walking in the cool light night,

stars brightly laughing and twinkling,

like heavenly eyes, mischievously peeking,

from the god's dark and velvety black delight.

The Twins, Taurus,

Orion the Great Hunter;

and Canis of Major size, with

Canis of Minor and lower wise…

Stouthearted men and hounds of old,

of tales of dramatic and golden bold.

Gemini draws my attention, their stars

faintly shine of little light or more...

Pollux, exuding the greatest of gallantry;

Castor, famous with the swiftest of steeds…

Their eyes burning bright in the cold wintry sky,

placed on high for their warm heroic deeds!

But they have a small and irritating bane…

Scorpio... Orion’s short and lethal destroyer,

could be the Twin’s thorny emotional pain…

Vice versa-ly… Must they be each other’s annoyer?

No one knows why it must be so…

Astrologers say that Scorpio’s and Gemini’ fight
and they yell, like demon spawn, from the depth's of hell…

Like the boiling blood of Water and Air, that just refuses to gel...

Is this truly so?

Does it have to be?

I laugh at astrologer’s fearful

prognostication for she and me…

In the full moon’s glow,

Scorpio's and Gemini’s music flows

with innocence and delight… Challenging

each in great ways with their respective rites...

Scorpio’s beauty and endless energy,

and the Twin’s innate mystical synergy,

their hearts open to boundless possibilities,

negating each other’s opposite qualities.

Que Bella La Luna!

Her beauty's Silvery Light burning Gemini's starry admiring eyes,

his Candle-Fire Eyes light up Scorpio's delicious feminine flora…

Will they join? Or will they each other despise?

Can they transcend astrology’s myth?

Will they step beyond it’s limiting grip?

Scorpio and Gemini dance in the moon’s insane light,

Wishing to hold each other with passion and lover’s delight…

Cautiously, carefully observing each other…

Courage and Fear, and Love and Grief,

patiently waiting for the lightest of Heaven’s sweet breath,

not sure of themselves, and not sure of each other…

Water and Air desiring and hoping for love…

Slightly perplexed in their place of sweet juncture.

Wanting and patiently waiting for desire’s first love…

Wondering if they’ll have love's fiery, and ecstatic rapture...

I had great fun with this poem! I worked in a planetarium as a young man. I memorized the constellations, their mythologies, their stories of love, and power and dominance over mortal humans. The immortals and the gods were petty and always maneuvering for more power and position over each other and the humans below. Sound like anything today on earth we know?

This is for you Johann F... Ha!

Options

2011-02-17T18:01:00.000-08:00

Self see's self dreaming about our life,

looking through dirty glasses with hardly a smile…
Life's only “option” seems like sliding down

the cruel edge of a rusty jagged knife...

What do we do

with our option’s limitless time?

Ride shotgun security

as someone else’s mime?

You say, “Why…?"

"Why should I take life seriously?”

"I'm mortally wounded by its

lethal and deleterious schemes..."

"I’m a victim of the serrated

edge of someone else’s blade…"

A victim of love;
an option, one of the lowliest grade.

You’re right of course…

Why dream at all?

When all that life seems

as just another’s Bloody Ball?

Options are very interesting...

There's a kind edge to the stiletto's other side...

But you have no inkling,

how to pull out their dirty and bloody blade.

Paths abound,

for eyes that will open…

Paths take focus;

but strangely, they have no sharp locus…

Life’s dirty,

so, drink from the cup…

Never mind cup's edge is dirty and sharp…

Bite off a piece! Swallow, and Divinely sup!

If you’re just an option
in a real life charade;

kindly cut it off...
Remorselessly, kick it to the curb!

Suffering is optional!

Be ruthless! Sweetly slash it off!
Your blade's work is done for now...
What will you do? With your freedom of Self?

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley

Pity-Full Self-Importance

2011-02-15T14:21:00.000-08:00

I’m self-ish.

I’m self-centered…

I’m oh, so self-ish,

and self-ishly self-centered!

I pity my self…

My hell-ish and self-ish self!

I’m pathetically

full of my pity-full self…

But sweet change is

un-self-ish,

and kind change is

pity-free-ish…

Unbending Intention is

Self’s Will-full door to change…

Isn’t a pity Intention’s link

is so woe-fully deranged?

We can clean Intention

in just a blink…

Intention’s cleansing

is our self-less way to Link…

Link through Intention,

and we accept the abstract.

Break link with content,

and we see life’s new contexts…

Our self-importance

self-ishly appalls us…

It’s morbid attraction

fuels our destruction…

Self-reflection pity-fully

attracts more pity…

Pity-full self-reflection

mirror’s our negativity….

We exhaust our self’s

by endless self-reflecting,

in our mind’s mirror of

pity-full neglecting.

Break self’s mirror,

and we break self-reflection.

Break self’s mirror

with impeccable Intention.

Be impeccable with

our Self’s energy!

Be frugal and thoughtful

with innocence and simplicity...

Break continuity...

Wake up Intention!

Listen to Self’s Silence,

and know non-reflection.

Know Silent Knowledge,

and you’ll have no pity…

For Hell controls Heaven,

by those full of self-pity.

With no pity for self

and compassion from Self;

Intention free’s Self from

our pity-full selves.

Use Intention!

Know the Beauty!

Have no pity,

and free your Spirit!

Formerly your Hell…

Know Heaven on Earth!

Feel Spirit’s Knowing,

and embrace Silent Self...

An Unfeeling Kiss

2011-02-13T22:29:00.000-08:00

An Unfeeling Kiss of Freedom and Death,

surrounded me softly and left me with it's Bliss.

Struggle with my self had ended,

and I emerged with only warm unknowing.

My hell had ended;

yet I knew not that I was dead…

For I had died without fighting,

against the black and unknown dread.

I died in the serpent’s kind coils

of it's constrictive renewal.

Resurrected by pitiless love,

and left with no self-accrual.

I’ve died of merciless shredding,

by six eagles and their beaks of death.

Consumed by nine ravenous friends for forgetting;

they fed on my vain spirit that had no depth.

I was shown Universal connection,

and the Infinite of The Source.

I saw no need for self-pity

or indulgence for my selfish old self.

Swallowed for food by a great serpent,

it beguiled definitely not…

Reborn with contentment for “what is,”

and not caring for “what if,” or “what not.”

The grand trick is Awareness,

and Knowing that we are Dead.

Seeing that my darkness was a lie,

as was knowing with my deceitful head.

Knowing it is Dead;

the Self has no beginnings or endings…

Sweetly moving between Love’s Nothing

and Everything, with never an ending...

Awareness wraps us in Knowing,

and preserves us in mint condition.

With Awareness’s Unbending Intention,

it stops mind’s useless and muddy mentation.

Death sweetly stalked me,

and destroyed my mirror of reflection.

Continuity died;

never to be repaired, again and again…

Timeless in limbo with impeccability,

a warrior becomes Knowing.

Patiently waiting with Not-Knowing,

and a warrior’s state of “as if,” it never slowing.

Armed with only their Knowing

and their Not-Knowing,

warrior’s just wait fearlessly,

and they wait patiently for their

Silent Knowledge and Final Knowing…

How Will I Know You?

2011-02-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

How will I know you?
Sweet Woman of Depth,
God’s Spirit of Love,
Lady with the Pearly Seashell Eyes…

I’ll be drawn to the Heavenly Light
of your flashing Blue Eyes…
I’ll come to you with knowing
and my fascination with you,
and bask in your light Womanly Bright…

I must be careful,
because She’s a woman…
So she’s Ruthless, yet; oh, so Charming…
She’s a Woman and She's a Warrior,
so She’s Cunning, and She's Velvety Nice...

She’s a Loving Mother,
so She’s Patient, and yet She's Active…
She's the giving Love of Venus’ Delight,
so She’s Sweet and Lethal,
with Her finality to my Masculine Might…

I have no defense against Her
Soft Femininity of Light.
And I have no desire to fight Her womanly Right...
So I Surrender to Her,
and I offer Her no feigned fight…

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Revere life...

2011-02-11T12:58:00.000-08:00

Revere life in all its expressions,
no matter how it distresses you…
Even if you don’t understand it,
revere life with your thoughts of its omissions.

Revere the spider,
and its capturing threads.
Revere the fly,
for its annoying flight.

Revere the fish,
and its need to swim.
Revere the snake,
and its weaving move.

Revere the bird,
and its freedom of flight.
Revere the ant,
for its body of might.

Revere the small,
for its great size.
Revere the large,
and its greater dependence.

Revere the intelligent,
for its desire to control.
Revere the simple,
and its natural letting go.

Revere life,
and admire that it ends.
Revere death,
for it's ending renewal...

Revere all Life,
with our limited thought.
Love all Life,
with your Infinite Soul...

Revere Life...
and Let It Be.

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Destroyer

2011-02-04T11:34:00.000-08:00

Nothing ever lasts…
Some things will change,
and some things just won’t.
Iconic grist for the rending mill of life.

Iconoclasts exist for new change,
reactionaries live for the old same.
Some welcome new changes,
and some want their exhausting old ways.

Changeability is our way to survive,
bending with the storm is freedom’s way to arrive.
A stiff and dry branch breaks under the gale’s strain;
a flexible branch laughs against the storm's grain.

We’ll always have stormy Changes…
They blow in our faces and we make them our pain.
Our unchanging icons of our self's fabrication;
those icons that beg for their own Destruction.

Courage in the maw of our storms,
bending under the energetic strain.
Devastation for our self-made icons
by Dark storms that lay waste to self's illusions.

Annihilating,
ravaging,
and decimating our
self’s...

Self respectfully slays our self
with Sweet Surrender.
And after the Dark storm,
all that remains is the Beauty of Light.

Is this storm a gift our self asks?
Is it a bestowal from On High?

No; nothing so lofty,
as God’s All-Knowing Sight.
Something more subtle,
yet, just as bright…

It’s our chance to kindly Destroy our self’s,
and be free from our dark deceitful seductions.
It’s our chance to have a chance,
for beginningless and endless Destructions.

They are our Choices,
and our Changes...
It is our Surrender to continuous and
loving un-doing by the Destructive Light.

Softly let go of your stormy burdens,
breathe in its rending energy,
and give It back by letting It go...
And, our beguiling icons are Destroyed by Chi.

It’s the beginningless
of our endlessness...

It’s Simply Changing,
and Surrendering our self to
our non-birth and new life of
Our Unimportant,
and Divine Self

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Be Kind to Yourself...

2011-01-28T13:05:00.000-08:00

“Change the way you look at things, and what you look at will change.” It’s a nice, New Age deep thought that looks simple, but may not be so easy to apply. Here is another, “You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are…” That idea isn’t so simple, and to extend the thought further, “If you don’t like what you’re attracting in your life, change the way YOU are, and what you attract will change.”

You may be sarcastically thinking, “Alright, Buddha, if you’re so smart, and so good at it, then tell me, how do you apply the concepts you’re yammering about and be kind to myself?” First, I don't know much of anything. I'm trying to undo years of thinking. Second, I wasn't so good at it. It's a work in progress. Interesting how brutal experience is such a good teacher.

In my past, I remember having these audio tracks playing over and over in my mind, what a friend of mine used to refer to as “stinking thinking.” Those old tracks were about the wrongs committed against me, my own guilt and shame about the wrongs I’ve committed (I grew up Catholic), and other resentments that I kept feeding my mind against others and myself. Overall, a normally neurotic soundtrack that would never sell; then again, maybe Woody Allen would buy it…

Eckhart Tolle, in his seminal book, The Power of Now, calls it the “pain-body,” that place where we feed our egoic self with energy, and it grows, and grows. What we give energy to, will grow. Good or bad, it just does. Most of those thoughts were about something that happened in the past, and frankly, most others involved don’t really remember them and don’t care anymore. But, it’s pretty normal to have thoughts like that in our minds. It’s not healthy for those thoughts to become corrosive and debilitating. It takes energy to maintain those thoughts, feel the pain, and suffer. But, there is hope... We can transmute that energy into something more positive, like love, peaceful thoughts, and service.

There are many ways we can transmute that energy into a loving life; we can read books, go to church for spiritual experiences, see a counselor, talk to friends, perform service for others, and participate in many other positive actions. “Action” is the keyword. But what kind of actions can we perform? Service is quite good. It gets us out of our minds and not thinking about ourselves. You will feel good about service to others. The dilemma many have with service is this: You’re home, alone, you feel lonely, and you’re frightened, because you still can’t escape your thoughts. Those actions, those soundtracks still play in the back of your mind. You don’t like to be alone, because maybe, you still don’t like who you’re alone with…

What to do about that? There’s no ocean deep, no mountain high, and no desert isolation where you can hide to escape your own thoughts. That stinking thinking still keeps playing those old worn-out tracks of guilt and shame. You’ve read all the right self-help books, you’ve seen a counselor after your divorce or your breakup, and you’ve talked to your friends until they can’t stand you anymore, but still, it doesn’t help. Thoughts are actions. What do you do?

You’ve been told that Self-love is narcissistic, selfish, or self-centered. Yes, you’ve been told and now you believe that you’re narcissistic, selfish and self-centered! Even worse! It goes on and on. Why? What will work? I’m kind to everyone, but I still have these feelings of inadequacy, guilt and shame. I’ve failed...

The answer is in at least two places in the Bible, Leviticus 19:18, and Mark 12:31: “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” In fact, that concept is in the Tao Te Ching, the Bhagavad Gita, Buddhist texts, and many others. Its a universal truth, as far as I feel. Loving your Self is the keystone of a life of peace and serenity. However, there are those who will tell you that it seems narcissistic, selfish, and self-centered. Perform actions for others, not for yourself. For people who think like that, it may be a very dualistic and contradicting way of being your Self. How am I supposed to be humble and loving, when I’m supposed to love myself in a way that may feel so selfish? How do I accept those things? How do I accept and attain happiness?

You don’t. Accepting is a egoistic process. I accept this, but I won’t accept that! No way! Attaining isn’t the way either. If I attain, I’m “happy.” If I don’t, I’m not happy. Dualistic thought… Right vs. wrong, black vs. white… I love chocolate, but I must hate strawberry. It goes on and on. Those stinking thoughts are still there… What to do about them? I’m nice to everyone else, except me. I’m my own worst enemy…

It’s time to free your spirit from the deceptions of the own ego. You know, your ego, the voice that thinks it’s in charge of your destiny. The ego is that fictitious self that suppresses your Spirit Light. When you let go of your ego there is much less self-inflicted wounding. In essence, you become kind to yourself. Being kind to you is critical in becoming kind to others. Loving yourself is a sure way to have pure love for others. It’s just the natural byproduct of freeing your spirit from the clutches of your ego. So, you aren’t just “acting” kind for other’s benefits, you become kindness by SURRENDERING to Self Love. Here it is, first and most importantly: BE KIND TO YOURSELF.

But the ego is devious, and it is deceptive... It’s powerful, it wants to survive, it likes the way it is. Your Spirit doesn’t like the way you feel, but the ego whacks your Spirit hard, and says, "I’m all there is. You don't need anyone else! Don’t listen to that namby-pamby wimp of a Spirit!" The ego is strong, and with some of us, it appears to be undefeated and forever. How do you defeat that all supreme, all knowing, bully of an ego? Change the way you think... Don’t think big and powerful thoughts… Think softly…

Geologists tell us that the Rocky Mountains were once as high as the Himalaya Mountains. That means the Rockies were twice their present height. How did they lose so much height? Water. Soft, gentle water... Applied over time, the softness of water wore the Rockies down. The softness of water, one of the most humbly powerful forces on Earth continues to defeat the Rockies. The softness of water is like kind thoughts for your Self. Applied over time, you’ll wear down the powerful ego, and the energy of stinking thinking transmutes to Love. Alchemy; and water becomes wine…

Want to watch someone who is kind to himself and others? Watch any PBS “Mr. Bean” episode with the BBC. You know, the "weird" guy to talks to himself, loves his teddy bear, and serves wonderful dinners for the bear and himself. Rowan Atkinson’s character is fascinating to watch. When you can be "nice" to yourself like that, you'll be "nicer" to everyone. The difference between acting "nice" and being nice: Are you actually nice to yourself? Not in a selfish way, but in the Self-forgiving, and kind way that is done through Self-love. Self-love=Love for the world. Being kind to ourselves is the greatest kindness that we can have for our existence. It's that inner Light that shines in the Darkest of places. Pure Love of Self=Pure Love of Everything.

You think: I try to be kind to myself, but sometimes I fall back into the stinking thinking mode of self-loathing. The Buddhists believe that it’s more important for you to do your own work first, and then do work for others. And, no matter how others tell you their work is more important than yours, you must always do your work first. Even if you do your work badly, still do your work. I remember my first landing in an airplane was pretty ugly, and badly done. But, I stuck with them, and 35 years later, my landings aren't so ugly.

Well, ladies, you say, I have small children, a husband, and a home to take care of, and I still have a job. Men may think, as an example, I have to work two part-time jobs to keep my family healthy, warm, and safe. How can I be so selfish and do my work first. We all have those worldly things necessary for our survival. Still, take care of yourself first, and then, you’ll take care of the needs of others. Men, it’s much more conflicting for the ladies; allow her time to perform her work. There are many things we can do as father's and husband's that’ll allow our ladies the precious time she needs for her own Self-kindness.

The soft water of Kind Thoughts for ourselves is the simplest and sharpest tool we often forget we have in our Toolbox of Love. My friends, that simple tool applied kindly, lovingly, and always, will result in your own revelation of spiritual truths that your ego can never know. Your Love is undefeated. Kind thoughts for ourselves will always wear down the mountains of guilt, shame, and stinking thinking that we just can’t defeat with more ego.

Be kind to everything, and everyone, and especially to yourself, at all times with no exceptions. Maybe that New Age thought: “When you change the way you look at things, what you look at will change…” rings true after all.

TC,

Michael

A Poem of Poetry

2011-01-17T15:20:00.000-08:00

On a journey of beginnings and endings,
I met a Woman of Alabaster White.
She asked me what I've seen in my meanderings,
and I responded, "Where? You mean in my blight?

She said there is Poetry within...
Beautiful things that I won't See,
if I don't Surrender,
and just Allow It To Be.

I didn't understand her;
this kind Woman of White.
My pain was blinding, and I felt much anger,
and I fought Seeing with all my might.

She softly asked me, her being forthright...
"What poetry did you see, there in your blight?"
Filtered and tainted by my pain,
I told her what I saw, only within my limiting sight...

poetry of suffering,
poetry of ignorance.
poetry of indulgence,
poetry of arrogance.

poetry of hate,
poetry of lust.
poetry of sadness,
poetry of mistrust.

poetry of lies,
poetry of self-denial.
poetry of gratification,
poetry of self-delusion.

poetry of selfish seeking,
poetry of great selfishness.
poetry of selfish love,
poetry of great loneliness.

The Alabaster Woman of Bright
gazed upon me with God's Empathy and Light,
and she softly said with much Right,
"You see with only your eyes..."

"To See,
you must first Surrender.
To Surrender,
you must give up desire."

"To give up desire,
you must not worry...
No longer worry,
or care about what will or won't Be."

"I must renounce what I want?
I must not care of the outcome to be?
I must renounce my aversions and cravings,
and what I want for me?"

"Yes..."
The Woman of White said to me,
"Become unattached to the outcome,
and just Let It Be."

"This sounds difficult,
is there no other way to be?
Is there no other way to end my suffering?
I just want to be this me!"

I felt my Spirit and my Soul...
They both said to me,

"Please release Us and We'll help You Be Free."
I felt Their Love, and I just Let It Be...

The Woman of Alabaster,
who's purpose is God's Love and Right,
lovingly brushed her soft hand,
on my weepy eyes of sight.

My Sight became Unlimited Seeing,
but not with my limited eyes.
I Saw with My Spirit and Soul,
and I felt My Love leap and it did greatly grow.

The Alabaster Woman then asked me...
"What Poetry do you See now in
Your Unlimited Place of Light?

Unfiltered by pain, and your old limited sight?"

Poetry of Joy,
Poetry of Knowledge.
Poetry of Giving,
Poetry of Humility.

Poetry of Love,
Poetry of Loving.
Poetry of Peace,
Poetry of Trust.

Poetry of Truth,
Poetry of Denial of self.
Poetry of Belief of Self,
Poetry of Self that accepts self.

Poetry of Compassion,
Poetry of Patience.
Poetry of Generosity,
Poetry of Tranquility of Mind.

Then, the kind Woman of Alabaster White
touched me and said this for my Self and for All...

"People will come to you,
not for what you know,
and not for what you do,
but for what you are and will Be..."

The Poetry of Self-Forgiveness;
the Poetry of Our Kind Thoughts,
the letting go of desires and aversions,
the Surrender to our non-thoughts.

The Cosmic Secret of the Universe,

is that God wants us all To Be.
The Cosmic Joke of the Universe is not to Surrender,
and that we just won't Allow It To Be.

Water and Air...

2011-01-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

Loving Undine of the Water and Darkness,

Sweet Woman of Love's fullness and softness.

She sings a lone song of sadness and tears,

She sings a siren's song of disaster and fears.

Streaming, stinging tears of pain

on her unknown face of beauty,

the one she pastes on to satisfy the

senses of men and duty.

She feels a sighing song

of unfound love within her,

yet she fears the Song

of the everlasting here after.

So, It waits within her silence,

and her self-induced miasma.

The Song waits for Her emergence,

from her own self-disaster.

Loving Undine who weeps

in her Darkness,

with tears unseen

and unfelt,

except by She

and the Air that Loves her.

God's Love also waits for

Her with tender softness.

Love that is for Her,

if only she Surrenders...

Surrenders to Her Exquisite

and special,

Loving is-ness.

Her Brilliance is unseen by few,

and never seen,

nor felt by her self,

but only felt by Her Soul,

and Her long forgotten Self.

She burns with the

Brilliance of God's

Bright Light,

but she ignores her Knowing,

to please men's rite.

Sweet Undine,

Her Self wonders...

Can the Eagle of Air help Her leave her Darkness?

Can the Eagle help Her emerge from her depth's

dark starkness?

Can an Undine love an Eagle,

and all of their differences?

Can a mermaid love a bird

through all of Eternity's existences?

She, questioning her self,

but 'it' says only to believe.

Believe in only the seeing,

and of the Dark's limited glean.

Only her self sees it as sad,

its lonely here,

and she's forlorn,

and she loves the sweet grieving

in her Dark place of mourn.

Her Knowing Self of Patience

and Unconditional Love,

that gives her self Kindness,

and the soothing Peace of the Dove.

The Love that knows

no blindness,

nor fear,

but only Self-Forgiveness

that to Her Self,

is just,

so dear.

She finally feels the Self that waits

and Loves 'it' for no gain,

for the blind self that is...

her vain karmic bane.

She simply surrenders,

and flies up from the Dark,

but she knows not why

She's propelled away from

its limiting mark.

Water's fearful to be all that is dharma,

but She's drawn up to Air,

and His un-resented karma.

We are the Dark,

We are the Light,

and the Two that move as One.

Forged by Love,

open to God's all-sight,

as a sword's edges make One.

A beautiful snowflake that

even God cannot remake.

A once in an eternity union,

that gives God It's thanks.

Air fills Water with His Masculine Light;

Water soothes and surrounds Air,

with Her Feminine Might.

She Surrenders her fear of Him,

He Surrenders his grief,

and the Dark and the Light

are joined with Blessed Reprieve.

The scent of Water and Air,

So sweetly together…

They mix and They roll;

and They quench Their Self's desires…

And Yin and Yang,

Their opposites do merge,

Her Feminine,

and His Masculine,

both joining on Their verge...

They fill their mold...

They finally Love...

and They finally meld,

as They are meant To Be,

with the One on higher,

as God's Love serves them,

God's Love Serves them...

Only,

To Be…

Separately,

Water and Air

were both incomplete.

Searching for Self through others,

never letting It meet.

Until now;

Together,

In Their Eternity of Sweet.

They Simply Surrender,

and Their joining is complete.

Together now,

these Two as One,

Water and Air,

They are,

Forever,

As One…

Essence

2011-01-06T06:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

2011-01-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

I had such a great time over Christmas and New Year's, that I forgot to wish everyone a Happy New Year! Harmony, Hannah, and Hali were all there. And a special gift, my son Jan was back from Iraq for the last time. We were all together for the Holiday's.

Jan served freedom with love and much courage. He was only hit with IEDs (improvised explosive devices) twice. It's surreal to see an aerial video of an explosion within 10 feet of someone, and seeing someone run out of the kill zone. It's quite another to find out it was your son emerging from the explosion. Other than his hearing is now bad, and his eardrum was damaged, he's alright. I'm very proud of Jan. He leaves the army on February 13. Jan's done two years in a combat zone. He's done enough. He's returned to the states and a new life. It's exciting to see Jan start a new adventure!

As a retired officer, I've seen some things too, but I know that our country's men and women are always amazing. My love and prayers go to them in Afghanistan and Iraq, and to their loving families in the states.

Dream yourself a lovely new universe that you create with your unbending intention and purpose, and be impeccable with yourself... As best you can! Take those dreams, and make them happen. Remember, anything is possible with love for Self and others. As Byron Katie says, "reality is always kinder than our thoughts."

Love you all!

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael G. Hesley All Rights Reserved

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T11:10:00.000-08:00

Today is a birthday, too... It is the real reason we celebrate this day...

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Merry Christmas to all!

I got Bucky Balls today! Very addicting!

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2010 by Michael G. Hesley All Rights Reserved

Airport Buffoonery

2010-12-23T07:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday while trying to snivel a free ride on Southwest Airlines from Seattle to Salt Lake City, I committed interstate social faux paux's in Washington, and Utah. In Washington, I walked into the woman's bathroom. By mistake, mind you. But I did it... And the ladies inner sanctum was empty except for, well, me... How did I know it was the ladies bathroom? Well, I certainly didn't have a keen enough grasp of the obvious to notice the sign outside the entrance that showed a figure with a skirt, also labeled "Woman's." No, as I entered the usually noisy woman's bathroom I was unknowingly in the "red zone," airline talk for clueless. Since I heard no females laughing or screaming at me, I stupidly walked in anyway.

So, the intrepid aviator of 35 years looked around, and noticed there were no urinals hanging on the wall. Now, being the steely-eyed trained killer of enemies of the state that I am, and like a flying brick in the forehead, I realized I needed to retreat to the "yellow zone," which in the airline biz means Joe Bag 'O Donuts is coming out of his self-induced village idiot mode. As Sun Tzu recommends in "The Art of War," now is the time to retreat with honor. I sheepishly and slowly turned around and walked out like it was the most normal thing for a man to do. You know, like I was conducting a health and welfare inspection while it was empty. "Ok, ladies, it's safe to use..." Sheesh! No one noticed, as far as I know, and I'm back in the "green zone" again. What a nog... ;-)

Next, in the inland empire State of Utah, I disembarked (always wanted to use that word) Southwest's Boeing 737, stopped at Starbuck's and bought some caffeine free Passion Tea, at Starbuck's. Is it supposed to be an aphrodisiac? Just wondering.... Next, I swashbuckled my way through the concourse like Captain Kirk enters the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, and onto the escalator I go, like I have always successfully accomplished before. While walking through the concourse, I had noticed that no one had left a message to tell me that someone will pick me up. While riding the escalator, I received a communications from Hali (daughter number three, code named H3) that someone will be there shortly. That is where I cluelessly jumped head first into the "red."

As I looked at the text on my wonderful iPhone 4, I let go of my roller bag with it's shiny stainless steel handle fully extended, computer bag with a few flying books inside, my food bag, and my camera bag, all began tumbling rather noisily down the entire length of the escalator head over foot all the way down to the bottom. Ok, they didn't just tumble, my bags crashed their way down the escalator. Did anybody get hurt? No, I was the only one on the escalator. Did anyone notice? Believe it or not, no one else was within eyesight of my gross and clumsy escalator antics. Entering the "yellow," I picked my bags up, and rode the escalator up again for the second time in about 30-40 seconds. Damage to my cargo resulted in a few dents in my cans of sardines in mustard sauce. There were no claps of appreciation, no hoots, no hollers, no expletives shouted in anger, nor cries of pain and anguish as my 50 lbs of steel crashed into an innocent escalator rider below me. Ok, back in the "green," again. :-)

Smiling at myself, I thought, it was an overall good day... Maybe something for the yellow stickies?

Still crazy (and squeaky clean) after all these years. Well, sorta...

;-)

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2010 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

The Darkness and The Light

2010-12-21T14:34:00.001-08:00

Last night, on my deck I watched the eclipse of the moon. Light changed to darkness, then changed to light. From that darkness came light. It felt like a renewal for my soul...

I had a fire ceremony where I wrote on 22 yellow stickies, resentments, angers, hurts, and many of the hurts I've inflicted on those I love, and those I didn't love. As I burned them in my grill, the clouds briefly cleared and I could see the moon was totally eclipsed. The white smoke quietly and gently spiraled into the sky, taking with it many of my hurts, resentments, and anger. I felt that warm feeling in my solar plexus. Tears welled from my eyes, washing my cloudy vision away and leaving the clarity of pure love in my soul. It was cathartic. I loved the experience. I did good for me... and those I love. I'm beginning to understand that to change the world, we must change ourselves first.

I think to some, "Source" seems like darkness. Why? Because none of our senses can perceive it. Some call Source "light," because the less we obstruct it, the more radiant we are. It seems to me that the gateway to all understanding is that we have to remain in the darkness of not knowing, until we accept the light of knowing.

In my poem "Changes" I wrote this -

We exist together,

this light and darkness,
and now I know it is.
I am the Light and I am the Darkness,
and of these things are me.
I love the warm Light,
and I love the cold Darkness.
Oh, how I do love them,
both, yes, you see.
I love them both
because they seem
the very same to me.

I knew it when I wrote the poem over a year ago, but couldn't verbalize why Light and Dark became the same. I know why now. Just like in the Matrix movie series, I've already made choices, and I'm slowly learning the "why" of them. The Darkness is as important as The Light. Without Dark's existence, Light doesn't exist, and vice versa. The Darkness may seem cold, but the cold is necessary to love the warm Light. It isn't accepting. Accepting is an egoic choice. Accept this, don't accept that. Emotional choices we make that are many times quite wrong. We people have no real good way to determine truth. But most people think that enlightenment is something we attain; it isn't. Enlightenment is surrendering to the known and the not known. Definitely not accepting. Not that I'm enlightened, I just surrendered to and fell in love with The Darkness and The Light. My love for both is how I surrendered and Dark and Light became part of me. They are both beautiful sides of the same coin.

My friend Garth says "Waiting, is..."

There is more that my wise friend Garth said, but to me, what Garth alluded to is that the waiting takes place in The Darkness of Not Knowing. I've learned that Patience is The Virtue of Darkness, and Love is the Kind Action of The Darkness. So, I wait with patience and love in The Darkness of Not Knowing for the shift of that waiting part of my soul to The Light of Knowing. Jesus'time in the Garden of Gethsemane was his Darkness and his Waiting, and his "death" was his Knowing and his Surrender; his shift to the Light of Knowing. He showed us how to wait, believe, and surrender to what is. He showed us how to Love What Is.

Name your what is; it is what we wait for in our innocence of not knowing, and in our wisdom of not needing to know, we can see that everything as it appears to us in the moment is always benevolent. Just like Jesus surrendered to his own death... Through the Virtue of the Darkness, we learn that nothing happens before it's supposed to. By the Kind Action of The Darkness, we are propelled to the attracting power of The Light of Knowing and it's sweet restoring warmth. It took me years, no, lifetimes, to believe and surrender...

Funny how things turn out... Finally, for me, the murkiness of the duality of dark and light, those primitive limbic thought processes in our low consciousness that is our curse, rose into the night, and into the ether, where God's mercy transmutes it into the pure energy of love.

Be kind to yourself and to others this season, and always...

TC,
Michael

P.S. Read the Bhagavad Gita translation by Stephen Mitchell

Copyright (C) 2010 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Facebook Compassion

2010-12-06T22:14:00.000-08:00

A few days ago a Facebook friend posted this on his status: "Has anyone else noticed that some people here only use their Facebook page as a constant cry for help or venting mechanism but not much else. No good news, no constructive revelations and never anything fun. It's like their life is one bad status update after another." He was welcoming comments about his post. My friend got 68 comments and lots of "likes."

Most of the comments were not favorable, and in fact many were in downright flaming angry agreement with him. I think he was surprised at some many of the comments made by his friends. My belief is that he didn't post that because he wanted others to agree with him. I'm sure he was somewhat saddened at how his friends felt about "needy" people on Facebook. Certainly it was an interesting and telling compassion check of his "friends."

This was my response to my Facebook friend: "Perhaps a different point of view... My way to peace started with kind thoughts for myself. That took a while. And I do that now. That leads to kind thoughts for others, no matter where they are in life. I see their words, their pain..., their love, their fear, and their loneliness as different sides of good living. Some don't yet see the beauty of their darkness, and some only see light. Their fearful darkness is just their not knowing. Not knowing can be a very frightening thing. Accept their fearful ways. When you see their pain, you're just seeing yourself. Seeing yourself in others is also a very frightening thing. Love them for their darkness, and their light. Love them and love life with all of their distressing ways. Reality is never too big for an open heart and open mind. Take care."

Only one other person wrote something even remotely close to that out of 68. She said it more eloquently than I did with all of my humble comments. All the other responses were just his friends agreeing with him, and seeing themselves in each of their own self-distressing ways.

The young woman spoke with her heart, her spirit, and her loving grace. I have a deep respect for the woman who isn't even my Facebook friend. She showed her light quietly, and sweetly with only one word:

Compassion...

She's a bright loving spirit on Facebook.

Be kind to yourself... Always...

With many warm regards this season, and also everyday...

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2010 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T09:05:00.000-08:00

Inspiration from Flickr.com - A Photography Website

2010-11-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

Probably the most meaningful (at least to me) and quite possibly the best picture on photographic websites is here:

www.modelmayhem.com/portfolio/pic/19296759

I'm surprised it isn't on Flickr.

A most common dream... I used to dream about looking for my "keys" outside on a street under a light. A woman who was walking by asked me what I was looking for... I told her my keys. She asked "Where did you lose them?" I responded, "Inside my Home." She looked at me quizzically, and asked me "Why are you looking out here for your keys when you lost them inside your Home?" My response, "Because it's light out here, and dark in there..." She suggested that I search differently inside and with my light on... So, I returned to my "home" and searched again. After a long time, I found my keys. (Oddly, I just recalled, the woman was almost alabaster white).

One of the few things I do well is systems integration, especially of computer systems. My knowledge of systems is rusty now, but, I know that the Google search engine isn't about finding facts. What I've discovered is that when looking for things, what you find is determined not by what you look for, but in how you search. They are Google's and the other search engine's most treasured secrets. It's too bad that they are also many other people's secrets, too. That mind/spirit connection is all about the why and the how. That understanding is the basis of becoming a woman (man) of knowledge. I found this in the book named "The Fire From Within," by Carlos Castaneda. "Fear of knowledge is natural; all of us experience it, and there is nothing we can do about it. But no matter how frightening learning is, it is more terrible to think of a man (woman) without knowledge." -- don Juan Matus.

The knowledge of ourselves can be very frightening, that is if you look at it from your fearful self...

Seeing is not about looking with your eyes, it's about the feeling you get from "seeing." The magic of it is about translating your dreams and making them your reality. It doesn't matter if its photography, writing a book, parenting, mentoring, or implementing a new procedure to manufacture a widget. They are all artful, and beautiful. So, if you don't find what you are looking for, change the way you look at things, and what you look at will change. I know, very New Agey, but reality is never too big for an open mind/spirit. If you'd like have a jump-start about that change of heart, watch the video "The Shift" by Wayne Dyer. Its inspiring, and perhaps it'll provoke your feelings of inspiration and creativity.

Men, the women tend to have the advantage over us. Women are just more open than men, well, mostly, that is... Why? Because of their lack of physical strength in comparison to us, they've had to finesse things more than us brute-forcing men. Instead of our chest-thumping limbic style of making things happen, women use a more convincing style of leadership. A big advantage you ladies have over us... Men can easily do it too. Give up the macho stuff and become masculine. Its the most common blockage of the male mentality, and frankly the world suffers because of it... Become soft, like water. That softness can help us translate our inspiration and feelings into our own creative reality.

I look at all my Flickr.com contact's profiles. Its very important to me to feel what they are about and why they do their photographic work. I'm just learning myself. I do wish all of you the good fortune of looking "inside." Even if you don't find what you are looking for, the journey begins there, and the discovery will change your life. Here are three books to read about inspiration and seeing: "Photography and the Art of Seeing," by Freeman Patterson, and "Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling," by Wayne Dyer, and "The Creative Process in the Individual," by Thomas Troward. Photography is a fantastic way of expressing your spiritual self, and your work shows the uniqueness of your efforts. Most don't know this, but there is much time for your creativity energies, because we're all timeless.

I love the way people express themselves through photography! It's so inspiring to me! I've done a little photography, but I've read lots of books about it. The creative process is just fascinating! Take a look around Flickr, SmugMug, or the other photo web sites. See them not with your eyes, but with your mind and spirit. As the poet Rumi says, "Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment." I suppose photography is about some cleverness, but to me, it's about the bewilderment of the boundless and infinite ways of portraying our place in this universe. It's all just fascinating to me! See, they aren't secrets at all... I ask, I believe, I receive, I allow, and I accept... When you make photographs, it's not about how good they are; it's about how good you feel when you make them. Feel and allow, "the fire from within..."

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2010 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

The Mac App Store... A Wet Dream Come True...

2010-10-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

The business model of the iPad, iPhone, and soon to be, Mac platform is all about Apple's revenue stream. Buy their hardware, and you can only use Apple's blessed software from the App Store. And Apple gets 30% of the cut. Sounds like Middle Age Europe under the domination of the Catholic Church. Sounds like legal racketeering. Read the RICO Act...

So, all the apps go through the app store... Of course, Apple manufactures the hardware and has a right to control some aspects, but controlling the software is what computing is all about. Hardware is a commodity, software is the air/water/food that sustains computing in all forms. What Apple does would be akin to Ford telling you that you can replace parts with only Ford's products, no Michelin, no off-brand parts, no nothing. How would that go? It's like the company stores from the old mining days.

Now Mr. Jobs, says... Hey, we've sold 50 million Macs in the last few years, and we almost never see those people's money or faces unless their Mac is broken. Why don't we try to convert that product line to the iPad/iPhone business model. You know, only Apple can sell the software (in their dreams). Just what IBM did and tried doing so many years ago.

So, programming dudes and dudettes, YOU have to pay 30% to Apple just so you can sell your software for the Mac OS. Pretty cool, huh? Say goodbye to your kids college fund. You may sell more software, but what's it going to cost you? It won't be just your money, but when Apple starts telling you how you're going to program too, you know, to conform to the Mac App Store "standards" (such as they are) say goodbye to your creativity and flexibility, your most cherished assets. Just look at what embedding the browser in the Win OS did for Microsoft's popularity. Now, Apple wants to be even more popular! Say hello to more money for 'lil old Apple, Inc, your hometown computer company. Hello eventual Federal Anti-Trust Lawsuit.

Apple's treading on thin ice here... I know, there are those of you who think not, but believe me, start selling the Macs that way, and watch software prices go up. The app developers are not going to give Apple 30% of their cut and see their revenues shrink because Apple wants their revenues to grow. Watch the jilted software companies sue Apple so quick they couldn't even say well-financed "class action lawsuit" before they have hundreds of companies writing their Senators, Congressmen, and other highly powerful people in the Judicial Branch of government. IBM and Microsoft thought they did their legal preventive homework too, and yet, they were in 'splainin' to 'da judge for years... Costly, draining, and of course, innovation killing. Anti-trust material. But Apple, drunk with success, and flush with more than $50 billion in cash wants what all powerful men and women want... More power... Just like Microsoft from 15 years ago... Capitalism, right? Predatory at the least, downright extortion, if you ask me. Of course, you don't have to participate, you have a choice, for now...

I've been working in the information world for almost 30 years. Anyone remember when the Federal gov't tried to break up IBM, Microsoft, and of course there was Standard Oil, the Bell System, and the divestment of aircraft manufacturers from their wholly owned airline subsidiaries. Apple thinks because Obama recently visited them in California that they just got the "go ahead" from him. Maybe for now. Politicians change direction like the wind. Politicians are responsible to their constituents. CEO's are responsible to the board and themselves. Boards are almost always appointed by the CEO's. So, who are the CEO's responsible to? Themselves. I would have to say "Watch out!" to the presently successful CEO and "board" at Apple, Inc. I'm sure you think you're untouchable...

Apple has done a wonderful job with the app store from a user point of view. Wonderful job for the stock holders, much less for the user's inflated opinions. From a developer's point of view, Apple's App Store is a corporate control freak's revenue wet dream come true. iPod, iPhone, and iPad users may put up with it, and in many ways that's good. But, most of the apps are next to useless. Of course there's "the what came first... the chicken or the egg." In Apple's opinion, software is only good if they bless it. According to The Gartner Group most apps (+80%) are not used after 24 hours. Why is that? Apple doesn't care! 30% cut, Baby! And, of course, refunds are rarely heard of... But, as has been said, there is peace in the public's not knowing. The creative programmers of the world won't be so clueless, and eventually, neither will the public...

I use a mix of Macs and PC's. I like both. Although, I really love Windows 7. I never thought I would say this, but "Thank you Microsoft!" What I think is a strength about the PC platform is that it's OPEN, at least way more than the Mac's. I can put up with the iPhone App store and it's iAds plastered over my free apps. And, I don't trust large corporations, Apple or Microsoft, or Oracle, or Symantec or whatever, with cloud computing. Let Apple control the applications alone on the Mac, and I can pretty much guarantee Apple will attempt to kill any outside server-side apps. In other words, anyone not playing by Apple's rules; you're out! Out of job; out of business, and out of sight! Flash, Silverlight, etc... Mom and Pop web app developers. You don't pay homage to Apple... You don't play! See ya!

Apple, if you try to control my Mac desktop computing experience with even more of your control freak-ness, in the name of "protecting the devoted Mac users," I'll be back to Windows 7 or 8 and never look "Back to the Mac." A cell phone or iPad user is less demanding. We don't want to give up even more of our say about computing to Apple, Inc. PC and Mac users are much more savvy than just an iPhone user... Savvy???

I actually hope Apple tries to pull it off. I hope they pull the trigger, because it'll be the shot heard around the computing world. I doubt it will be a model for others to follow.

My father used to say, sometimes a person's only redeeming quality is to serve as a bad example for others. It'll be too bad, because Apple does give us good value in the information world. So, go ahead Apple, make the DOJ's day...

An addendum: Macworld posting... Apple dumps Adobe Flash from Mac OSX

http://www.macworld.com/article/155132/2010/10/flash_osx.html

Post addendum: My family owns four Macs, and seven iPhones.

It begins...

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2010 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Choices

2010-10-20T02:16:00.000-07:00

I'm changing. . .

And I don't know how to be.

I cannot stay the same.

For the sameness is exhausting,

and I won't be the same,

for these changes are to be,

all this and more,

I know will be for me.

I see the choices,

I feel them coming.

These changes for me I choose,

or maybe they choose me?

Nevertheless,

they are,

and will be,

for me.

Of this I do not know,

but it matters not to me,

for they are to be,

these choices that are for me.

Infinite and Ineffable discoveries,

but few choices abound.

Or so that it always seemed. . .

I'm making inevitable choices,

But they don't choose me.

We exist together,

this light and darkness,

and now I know it is.

I am the Light,

and I am the Darkness,

and of these things are me.

I love the warm Light,

and I love the cold Darkness.

Oh, how I do love them,

both, yes, you see.

I love them both,

because they seem,

the very same to me.

I am Timeless here,

in this state I'm in,

and all that it seems.

We are timeless together,

the Light and Darkness,

and all that they seem.

Together we exist,

to balance and to limit.

Everything and nothingness,

or so it appears to me.

Separate we were confused.

Together we are complete,

yes, this Light,

and Dark and me.

Together we seem so final,

so complete and agreed.

How lovely now it is to see,

all the good that is to be.

Soft voices from the light,

and good feelings, too,

and beauty,

and love,

and everything that may be true.

Nothingness,

from the darkness,

except for the forlorn.

Voices I no longer want to hear.

Those sad voices that say,

"You need me no more."

Everywhere is the light,

of loving warmth that soothes.

My body, mind, soul,

and Spirit,

all, now joined as one.

Finally now together,

they can all move as one.

Together in the goodness,

of that right Bright Light,

we flourish and we finally see,

all that we are now,

and all that I want to be.

I see these visions,

in my all journeys,

and in all of my dreams.

They are beautiful,

and never ending,

and they are Infinite,

and they are Ineffable

now, that I do see.

They are my choices.

Yes, all these are for me,

even if I don't know why,

they are what they will be.

They are all my Inevitable choices,

and I choose them for me.

They are my bright destiny,

these sweet choices that I see.

They are my beautiful dreams,

from my journeys that are to be.

I'm beginning to see the Light,

oh, of this I have dreamed.

I'm beginning to see the Light,

and it is what it seems.

The darkness,

was once my old friend,

or though I thought

it seemed.

Though, in the Light

I see more now,

now that I dream.

I see in the beauty of the Light,

it's now so clear to me,

I see the beauty of my changes,

and all that I allow for me.

I now know this is to be, though,

it did not always seem.

All this,

and more,

is God's gift to be.

All this and more,

Remembering Danny

2010-10-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

On September 26, 2010, Danny Nielsen passed from our existence to another. It was sudden, and quite unexpected. He lived next door to my family for a number of years. He was married for two years, and had no children. He was 25 years old. On Friday, October 1^st, a service was conducted in honor of his life. Danny had three brothers, and a sister. All loved him dearly. His father, Mark, spoke very lovingly of him, and his mother, Jeanette with his sister Kim sang a beautiful heartfelt rendition of “I Need Thee Every Hour.” Danny’s wife, Alyssa, read a soft love poem he wrote her. Hundreds attended Danny’s service. It was a warm, melancholy service, and all did their best to remember his life. Strangely, but not unexpectedly, I wasn’t sad for him.

Danny had some trouble with substance abuse, and he had for a number of years. It caught up with him. It wasn’t known to us whether his passing was intentional or accidental. Either way, I still care about him. I feel compassion, kindness and sympathy for his family and wife. Still, I can’t help but feel happy for Danny.

I remember Danny as being quiet, and unassuming. An old spirit, and a tall man, he had a large build, he was intelligent, and Danny was a handsome guy. I saw the deep intelligence in his eyes. Yet he had a humble presence. He never talked much, but he had a little bit of mischief in him, which of course, gave him some personality.

One day, I was standing at the entrance to my garage door. I don’t think Danny knew I was there, out of sight, but within 10 feet of my GMC Suburban. I had one because nothing towed a camping trailer like a Suburban. But, I’m pretty sure I had replaced about every mechanical part in about four years. It was detestable as a machine, but yet the family had lots of fun in it. It was an overcast morning, quiet, and you could hear the birds singing, and the insects buzzing. You know, like in the cartoons... You can hear the beginning of "The William Tell Overture..."

“CRACK!!!”

I remember the sharp report… It sounded like a small bore pistol being fired. Maybe a .22 caliber, it was close, and I looked around the wall, and I think Danny saw me and quickly stepped inside his front door and closed it to hide his obviously guilty face. He had a look of shock and surprise, because he didn’t expect me to appear and see him with the “weapon.”

It wasn’t a handgun, but a rather large and powerful looking slingshot. Having a rather keen grasp for the obvious, I quickly looked at the Suburban, and there in the left rear window was the telltale sign of a high-speed impact of a small projectile. Well, I wasn’t happy. What the heck?!! Why would Danny do that?!! I wasn’t a happy camper… I walked over to his front door, rang the bell, and Mark, his father appeared. He could see that it wasn’t going to exactly be a pleasant visit. I asked him if Danny had a slingshot, and Mark said he just got it for his birthday. We looked at my Suburban and the window, and now Mark wasn’t a happy camper... I told him I heard the crack, and saw Danny dash inside. Mark also had a pretty good idea what had happened. Mark thought Danny was mature enough to handle a slingshot responsibly, apologized to me, then he muttered something and went into house with a grim look on his face. Actually out of sight, I chuckled to myself, because, damn! It was a fine slingshot and I always wanted something like it when I was young. My Mom was totally against it, because, I might shoot someone’s eye out. Sheesh! I really wanted one. I also knew Danny was in deep kimchee…

When I saw Danny next, we never talked about it. We never went there. I knew; Danny knew that I knew, and that was enough. I paid for the window. It was less than my deductible. No need for apologies. A little grin from him, then me, and it was understood. I disliked that money pit of a Suburban. But, I’ve always liked Danny.

So, why would I not be sad for his passing in such a useless and preventable way?

Whatever the self describes, describes the self. (Jakob Boehme, 1575-1624). I’m pretty sure that Danny is fascinated with the universe. Maybe he doesn't understand it; maybe he doesn't understand his place in it. Sometimes the roles we play get in the way of connecting with our loved ones and growing. I’m pretty sure without knowing Danny very well that he was into experiencing life. It isn't a problem for Danny to solve; he wants to experience it. He wrote lovely poetry, he was a fitness instructor, and he got well above average grades in school. Mark was right… Danny is an enigma. At least to some…

I read Danny’s Facebook page, and there was much to see and learn about him. Pictures of him smiling with his wife… Fragments of his quiet thoughts… Some small snippets of his self-assessments, all there and quite telling of his complex presence. You wouldn’t know that he had trouble with substances. But what shines brightly for me on his Facebook page is Danny’s humanity and the unsure courage of his intentions and purpose. And then it struck me like a bolt from the blue… There it was… His religious beliefs: Maybe a Buddhist… Yes, Danny, whatever the self describes, describes the self. It is a bold statement for a LDS man to make. It was that statement that struck me so poignantly.

I’m pretty sure Danny was tired of his quiet emotional pain. Nothing can be worse than trying to control what can’t be controlled. Maybe Danny didn’t live his life like others wanted him to live. Maybe he didn’t let life live him. But he is still the hunter and warrior with the slingshot, and I think he knew we couldn’t hit anything if we don’t shoot. This time, maybe he missed his target. But reality is never too big for an open mind, and Danny’s mind is open to greater and boundless possibilities. Perhaps the venue of this existence wasn't enough for Danny’s spirit…

C. S. Lewis wrote in his book The Great Divorce; the spirit, who was about to pass through to heaven says, “Are those people right who say that heaven and hell are only states of mind?” The angel replies, “Ye cannot fully understand the relations of Choice and Time until you are beyond both. And ye were not brought here to study such curiosities. What concerns you is the nature of the choice itself: that ye can watch them making.”

In the movie The Matrix Reloaded, Oracle lovingly tells Neo, “We can never see past the choices we don’t understand.” Neo asks, “Why am I here? To make the choice?” Oracle, quietly states, “You’re not. You’ve already made it. You’re here to understand why you made the choice.”

All very Buddhist, and Christ would have almost certainly said such things. Danny made choices, perhaps they weren’t made in this existence, but nevertheless he made them. Some would have disagreed with many of his choices. I couldn’t second-guess him. My own knowledge is so limited. If God were all knowing, omnipotent, and powerful, then he wouldn’t limit himself in that way. Because our understanding of God is limited, we restrict God to our own limited beliefs. Then, we only distance ourselves from God. I don’t feel Danny was a limited spirit in the way most of us are in this existence. As someone has said, reality is always kinder than our thoughts. Yes, Danny . . . You describe yourself. . .

I’m so very proud of Danny! He's a beautiful spirit, so loving, so childlike, so expansive. In a wonderful way, I’m quite pleased he’s on a great adventure. He’s not in hell, but in his heaven. In our innocence of not knowing, in our wisdom of not needing to know, we can see that everything as it appears in the moment is always benevolent. That's why I'm not sad for him. . .

Danny, when it’s my time to pass from this existence, I’ll look you up. When I'm beyond being concerned about Choice and because I know I'm timeless, we'll find that Suburban (because all things are possible) and I’ll finally have that slingshot I’ve always wanted. Let’s shoot out ALL the windows, and laugh about it with great fun and take pleasure in our not knowing. We can do it now, if you'd like, Danny. I’m always pleased for you.

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2010 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

To Flash or Not to Flash in Rock Photography

2010-09-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

I like both flash and no flash. I've heard from the shooters that "it bother's the performers..." Ya gotta be kidding? I don't use on-camera flash. With all the stage lighting, strobes from the show, the freakin' big noise, pot smoking, booze guzzlin', screaming adoring fans, and the perfomers leaping around like primitive man in the movie '2001: A Space Odyssey'... flash... distracts the performers? What a prima donna attitude! You'd think they were muzzle flashes from AK-47s! Incoming! Take cover! No... take a powder divas and rock stars... I'm not there for them, they are there for us! We. Pay. Them.

Now, if not used well, I believe flash can destroy the dynamics of the photographic moment. Learn how to use the little light bazookas, and you'll have a whole new photographic universe appear to your open mind. And, I prefer to shoot without flash. But, gelled flash, dialed down, and some well-timed rear-sync shots (yes, it's slow...) can show give some absolutely fantastic shots with great feeling and emotional energy. Who wants to only see frozen performers that are "stuck" in position like some bad episode from an old Sci-Fi Channel TV show? Besides, some of my more interesting and great shots are "happy mistakes."

In rock photography, I don't see any reason to follow the "unwritten rules." Photoshop the hell out of them if you feel so inclined! Get Topaz Labs Adjust, because it's great for rock shots. And while your forking out the money, get a great noise reduction program.

I don't set my ISO so high that it scorches the sensor! I love the movement, and I love the graininess. When I see a band perform, I don't see crystal clear scenes in my mind's eye. I see motion, I see multi-colored high-freq energy that emanates from the performer's spirit's, and I see lots of it! I want to show their energy, their emotion, and their artisty. They bare their soul's to us. I respectfully submit that flash can help us feel connected to the performers. I prefer not using the flashes, but, if I have to, I light 'em up with the photon torpedos!

I use flash. In fact, the more the merrier! I blame Joe McNally, and David Hobby for this... I don't shoot the big shows, just the up-and-coming regional bands. I have five of my "lil fren's" and I use Justin Clamps, and light stands, and if I can, place them pretty far away, always gelled. I don't want them to look flashed. Get the Rosco Roscolux Swatchbooks... My fire team of Nikon SB-800 and SB-900 flashes are popped with a Nikon SU-800. Sometimes the background's at the venues are so uninteresting, that I change them up with the little gelled wonders. When Pocketwizard releases their version for Nikon, I'll drop some serious bucks into them.

So, walk in and setup like you've shot bands for 30 years. Make up a fake business card if you don't have a business, and give it to the sound and lighting dude and the venue management. Give the card to the leader of the band. I show them my "artistry" on my iPhone and the Flickr app. As long as my stands or tripods don't interfere, almost no one stops me! Many times the in-house lighting is horrible, so I bang away with those gelled puppies! I shoot 500-700 pics per band, and I'm pleased if I get 20-40 good ones. Even better if I get 10 outstanding shots. Are my shots great? All up to the beholder. Art or not, I have great fun, and the band's love them! Give your best shots and prints to the venue owners, and they'll love what you do! And they'll let ya get away with photographic murder...

As far as rules, I know of only three in photography... Aperture, shutter speed, and ISO... No other rules need apply.

Why make a "rule?" NO FLASH...? Meh... I've haven't been told once to "get those flashes outta my face!" It could happen, but it hasn't yet, and if it does, I'll shoot without, or not at all, if I feel so inclined. I'm always respectful, but when they see their shots, they smile... What can be better than that?

TC,
Michael

Take a look at The People Now at http://www.myspace.com/thepeoplenow

Also please look at Rock 'n Roll on Flickr

http://www.flickr.com/photos/michaelgphotography/sets/72157624809653030/show/

Copyright (C) 2010 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved