Twilight Advice, Again . . .

Living years in Darkness

and Lightness, I've tread

on that razor thin path 

to what I’d hoped was 

Clarity and Rightness.

A wise man told me that 

Clarity is not always so.

He explained that Clarity

is fickle; even deceptive,

that often leads me to No.

Yes, I’ve let those ways 

direct and guide me

on paths, leaving me

groping, and searching for

answers in my mind’s eye.

But no matter how much,

I still wait in silence,

patiently waiting, and

yearning for Clarity

and personal balance.

He reminds me over

and over again;

the the Best Advice 

he serves to me is:

 

“Be silent and listen.”

Oh, yeah, and next time,

the Best Action is simply to:

Keep,

My,

Mouth,

Shut.

© 2026 Michael G. Hesley All Rights Reserved

Julia and Michael Hesley Wedding - April 29, 2018

Michael's Vows

I first met you in the

place I go between

sleep and awake.

I was in a timeless land

waiting for to my dream to break.

Instead, you appeared as a goddess!

Smiling, exuding feminine energy,

and just as gorgeous just as today!

Alone with you, with hopeful

thoughts and open heart,

I dreamily waited and surrendered

to your as yet unknowing state.

Softly, your feminine spirit

silently surrounded me, 

and your presence filled my masculine void

with the glow of your waif-like soul.

Reclining, care-freely I smile,

not knowing the where,

how high, nor the what,

and certainly not the why of us...

In my twilight, we embrace,

and I let go of my hard heart and pain.

Today, I feel the lightness of our grace!

Our bright spirits and our perfection,

compliments yours and mine,

Yin and Yang joining together

in the soft light of the sublime.

At first, I'm confused...

But, I yield to your femininity,

yet, I retain my masculinity.

Intently, we combine without enmity...

I know your sweetness

and the where that I'm at...

And, purposely, we meld and merge carefully,

in our own two ways...

Loving ourSelves,

no longer knowing our self-ish selves,

we remember not of our old caring…

But, will we ever know the why our new sharing?

Tenderness, and softness,

and strength, and calm...

Easily, uneasy souls join together gracefully,

almost as if one.

But...

No one knows why it must be so…

Astrologers say that Scorpio’s and Gemini’s

fight and they yell, like demon spawn,

straight from the depth's of hell…

Like boiling blood of Water and Air

that they say just refuses to gel...

Is this truly so?

Does it have to be for us?

I laugh at astrologer’s fearful

prognostication for you and me…

Tonight, with the insane moon’s glow,

Our music flows with innocence and delight…

Challenging each in great ways

with Our respective rites...

With your beauty and endless energy,

and my innate mystical synergy,

our hearts open to the boundless possibilities.

And from now on, we’ll strive to

negate each other’s opposite qualities.

 ________________________________

Julia, what I love about you is that

you accept my darkness and my light,

And I accept yours with the greatest of delight. 

What I’ve spoke of today is how we are to me.

But, flowery promises seldom ever come to be.

So, my vows are but three...

I will always love you for all eternal time.

I vow I will give you the best I’ve got

at that place, moment and time­­­.

But, most importantly,

I do promise you this:

You’ll never be bored.

Julia's Vows

·       I knew I had to meet you when I’ve read that first email you wrote to me. I could tell you spoke from the heart, and I could feel a genuine person behind the lines. 

·       Over the time, I’ve discovered a person who is both strong and vulnerable, caring and loving, kind and generous, curious and spirited. 

·       Your inquisitive mind never fails to surprise me with the new ideas, and I’m never bored with you. 

·       Your unwavering love for me makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth.  

·      I promise to always love you and treat you with respect and kindness. 

·      I promise to support you in your dreams, ambitions and adventures, whatever they will be. 

·      I promise to always be a good partner, a true companion, a part of the team. 

·      I promise to listen to you with compassion and be a voice of reason and encouragement when you need me to. 

·      And despite your passion for the photo gear and your interesting hat collection, I love and cherish you for all that you are.

·      I promise to always keep sight of what’s good about us, even in the midst of a disagreement.

·      I promise to never watch the next episode of “our” shows on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to. Besides, it’s always more fun to watch them WITH you.

·      I promise to recognize that we’re both going to change over the years and to do my best to go with the flow.

·      And I promise to update my Facebook status to ‘Married’ by the end of the day – and keep it that way through all our ups and downs.

© 2018 Michael and Julia Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Angels at the Feeder

Anna's Hummingbird

Say hello to one of my buddies in east Issaquah, Washington.

I shot this with a Nikon 1 V2 using a 1 Nikkor VR 70-300 mm f/4.5-5.6 at 35 mm equivalent of 810 mm, handheld. I used a flash to stop the wings so we can see this hummer like we never really can. These little guys at the edge of the city are quite shy, and easily spooked! They sure are challenging and fun to shoot! I love my little angelic friends...

Thanks for looking!

TC 

© 2014 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Power of Stripes

Last night, from no beginning and no end,

that tiger was loose within me again!

I am afraid of him; so by his striped thick scruff,

I mightily threw him down for another new start.

My mind thinks he's a dangerous and magnificent pain!

Always snarling, growling, snapping, and gnashing

at me with his fangs. As he falls, he shouts at me,

"You always want someone to endlessly blame."

Sometimes I think that tiger is a sick bastard...

He calls himself "Power," but that's not his real name.

Lying silently, he endlessly plots, and plans my demise.

And, with me, he's always so angry and flustered!

With his savage and raw predatory power

he tries to overwhelm my four good friends.

We're always battling for my soul, 

but it's always a draw; so he just pouts and glowers.

Power shows himself every week or so. 

He's always ready to destroy part of my self. 

"You're my friend!" he says. But he's unpredictable

in his efforts to teach me to be meek.

With a god's force, he says,"Fight like a tiger! Embrace 

these bright days and dark nights!" And when the exhausting

battle ends, he always says, "Why do we fight

these pointless battles to regain your Grace?"

© 2014 Michael G. Hesley

All Rights Reserved

Sunset with a Nikon 1 v2

Sunset at the Beach

© 2014 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Convex Visions

Rainbows and storms
fill the mirror that
glares in my face.
Nothing could be less norm,
or leaves me more bare
than my fear of Grace.

Perhaps Dante is right...
Do I make God wait?
Ghosts sometimes stalk my soul
from my mirror that lights
that rearward view; they try
to make me their final goal.

Darkness and Light
gloats as thunderbolts pass...
Gleefully, they intertwine behind,
canceling out that inner fight...
I drive faster from them, but
they still close into my mind.

It's hard to run ahead
when looking to the rear.
I can't help my self,
its the unknown it still fears!
But, I ram head-on into the newness,
not yet seeing all it's new wealth...

Maybe I should just stop
and let the thunderbolts catch me!
Convex mirrors do deceive,
you know! So, I'll let those 'bolts drop
into my mind, and let my Self heal.
Hell, I'll even let my Soul breathe...

© 2014 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

The Balm of the Night

I've known I was odd
since I was young.
Parents and teachers told me so...
Shackled by that label,
I grow restless and bold.

I remember seeing things
that weren't there. Like that "odd bond,"
daring myself to break free.
With hope, I bare my soul
and dream to see what life brings.

I desire beautiful sights,
and in my mind's eye
happily I taste it, and
while it touches my spirit,
I bathe in it's light.

Sometimes I see wondrous
old and new visions of beauty,
freshly painted by the morning's dew.
They pierce me like arrows of light; oh,
I yearn with desire to hear that thunder...

I'm told I'm odd, and I've never fit
into the usual molds, always different,
yet not meaning to be.
Its my nature to fly, but this self-made
halsband keeps me in a snit.

Wanting to be free of the bight's
restricting grip, I strain in my
fight for freedom and
quietly express myself
usually late at night.

Yes... When all is quiet, and all is calm,
I dream of beauty and light, and while
I'm there I don't strain with all my might.
There, where I'm normal, and restful,
I'm touched with God's soothing balm.

© 2014 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Veteran's Day in the United States of America

For all of the men and women who put on a military uniform that I had the pleasure of serving with, my utmost respect and prayers for you this Veteran's Day. Especially for my family, Gerald Hesley, my father, Dennis and Denese Hesley, Jan Hesley, Bill King, and Joe King. Thank you all for your service to the people of the United States of America.

TC...

© 2013 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

The Dance of Life

Have you ever had an argument (in your mind at least) where you are angry and upset about something and you it carry through to an unpleasant ending?

Of course, you have. Who hasn’t? So have I. We have our opinions, and others have theirs too. But, that day, you didn’t let your friend have their opinion, and you take their “imperfect thoughts” too seriously. Bam! Instant fool. Yes, we human beings can easily stand up straight with both feet stuck in our mouths.

You have years of childhood and adult programming to overcome, and too many years of teaching ‘n preaching (literally). You think, you can be accepting, positive, and not pushy. Your friends are truly kind, unselfish, and good hearted people. But yet you still give in to your egoic self, because it believes that you don’t matter anymore. At least the ego tells you that.

Matter? To what? To whom? What is your problem? Don’t want to be a victim of love and life, of government and corporations? Family or friends? Yep, the ego doesn’t want to feel small and helpless. Yet, your mind has these important (seems like) thoughts and your mouth just can’t shut up. The ego likes to win. Or as Captain Kirk said in a Star Trek movie where he cheated and won the impossible scenario, “I don’t like to lose.” And, I am one of those.

You don’t like to lose, as a paratrooper, as a fighter pilot, as a man or woman, as an airline pilot, as a father, as a boss, or as a spouse or as a child. Let’s face it, the ego doesn’t like to lose. WE don’t like to lose. Beat the drum loudly. Time goes by…

After the silence and self-reflectance, we realize, what did I have to prove? Your ego is forgiven, and you kick it once more in the ass for a reminder, and guess what? You stop trying to make your point, where your ego absolutely loves to hear itself talk and act out. Yes, its a chest-thumping, wild animal that loves to hear itself talk. You know, in our minds, we all have that craziness, whether we speak softly and appear calm, or shout it out because inside you are mad, and suffering from years of stinking thinking and programming.

So, you give in to the feeling that you don’t need to say or prove anything. Then, miraculously, the calm confidence sets in… You stop thinking that way, and more importantly, you stop talking. And you realize that the whole argument strikes you as ridiculous and absurd. Pressure is relieved, you come up for air, and you no longer feel the anger, the fear, and feeling of being attacked. And… You. Start. To. Laugh. At. Yourself.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could do that any time, any place, and in any situation? Maybe we’d all feel free, and happy, because you are learning to do one very simple thing... Freely LETTING GO at will, continuously, and without regret. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Now your Self is in charge, and you are no longer at the mercy of the world. It would be nice if our noisy mind’s thoughts no longer have to exit through the mouth. A perfectly boring world. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe so. But, a peaceful world in your heart and Soul.

But, sometimes, we oblige our egos and dance “one step forward, and two steps back.”

I took ballroom dancing lessons for almost two years. We had to leave our ego's at the door. That's how we learn and let go. Just like with dancing lessons, mistakes are made, we learn, live, love, and forgive ourselves and others. The Dance of Life.

Take care.
:-)

© 2013 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Kirkland's Juanita Beach at Night

Juanita Beach in Kirkland, Washington at night. I've walked on the old road bridge, now a footbridge, for seven years and I guess I was open enough for once to see this sight. I set my Nikon 1 V1 camera on the railing, and snapped about 15 pictures. Interesting how I saw it that night.

I think this one is the best...

Juanita Beach at night - Kirkland, Washington

Technical stuff: I took this picture on April 26, 2013 at about 9:03 pm with a Nikon 1 V1 at ISO 100, 18.5 mm f/1.8 (EFL 50 mm) at f/4.0, and 30 seconds. I edited it with Lightroom 4.4 and Nik Color Efex Pro 4.0.

Take care...

© 2013 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Sea-Tac International Airport

Sea-Tac International at Sunset with an iPhone 4S, edited with Snapseed.
Words just don't describe how I saw it...

 

Take care...

Copyright (C) 2013 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Sculpting Souls

With foolish notions,
and mixed emotions,
and setting a lofty goal, proudly,
I set out to sculpt my own Soul.

There were no books,
and no teachers nor lessons;
but I saw golden examples
of man’s best intentions.

The perplexing answer
seemed outside to be…
What should I do? “Fix it,”
my self said to me.

But my Self said, “It isn’t out there,
it’s your attitude and emotions.
So, humbly bare your heart, and
stop your self's commotions.”

My Self said, “Be still,
let silence be your guide.
Listen to your Self, and forget
your precious personal pride.”

“You’re going around in circles,
and of that there is no further need.
Meditation and calming your self
is now your Selfless deed.”

So, I stood aside with
silence and patience,
and I felt the resistance
that’s been shaping me.

I saw that ugly map,
where I was trapped,
that was always just
outside of me.

I saw the Sculptor and
felt the tranquility. What's
The Sculptor? Our Souls,
as mine kindly sculpts me...

© 2013 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Sunrise Departure from Vegas

Sunrise departure from Las Vegas International on December 13th, 2012.

Taken with a Nikon D700, 28-200mm f/3.5-5.6 at 62 mm, f/11, 1/200 sec, and ISO 400.

My kind of easy morning.

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2013 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

May you have happiness, love, and peace...

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2013 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

My Christmas Eve Wish

It's finally quiet...

Tree is trimmed,

Lights are bright;

Christmas Eve's this night.

Snow's finished falling,

Orion shines south,

chimney smoke rises,

I see breath from my mouth.

I remember family...

Mother, Father,

all my brothers; and my
dear sisters passed...

I'm graciously blessed

with my own family, my children, 
and friends, in my life's
poetic present and past.

Looking back, I see my

life's gifts and blessings;

love's missed, and love's mistaken,
and the love's I've given and taken.

I'm grateful for blessings 

we receive; yet, I sigh softly

for our dearth of God's regard,
and our lack of joyful attaining...

Great blessings from God...

I stand all amazed! 

So, God, I promise to recognize

Christmas Eve's purpose...

Please, remember to remember,
my friends... Let's give love

and help all to hold dear tomorrow's
real reason, which is so clear...

Please, give love and receive...

It's the best day of the year!
But, tonight my friends,
it's Christmas Eve...
 

Copyright (C) 2012 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

The Sound of Silence

What happened to the apocalypse?!!!

Hey! I really prepared for it! I got Simon and Garfunkel's song "The Sound of Silence," played it on continuous loop, and "stabbed my eyes" with my REI Apocalypse Ready flashlight rated at 300 candle power!" I felt like Homer Simpson... Light in the eyes... "Doh!!!" "Ohppp!" "Doh!!!!" Stupid flashlight! "Doh!!!" "Ohww!"

I may never learn... :-)

For the apocalypse, I've been wearing a special invisible "zombie detector and repellent crystal" around my neck. It's never failed to repel biting zombies, gnats, or women. Hey, is that my problem? Maybe I should take it off...

But really, I just sat in darkness and listened to the silence. Sorry, Garth.

I'm pleased the apocalypse didn't happen. Something else did happen, though...

Welcome to the Age of Reason and Love...

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2012 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Remembering Danny Nielsen

***
11/4/2012...

I had this nearly overwhelming feeling today that I should I look at Danny's FaceBook page, and with tears in my eyes, I read the loving, kind, and tender words of his family still talking to him there... I don't know why I should feel this way for him or his family, I haven't seen any of his family since the funeral, yet I still feel such compassion for them. I always liked the Nielsen's, especially Mark. I wish we could all see Danny here again, but mostly, I wish peace for Danny, Mark, Jeanette, Alyssa, his wife, and his family...
***

On September 26, 2010, Danny Nielsen passed from our existence to another. It was sudden, and quite unexpected. He lived next door to my family for a number of years. He was married for two years, and had no children.  He was 25 years old. On Friday, October 1^st, a service was conducted in honor of his life. Danny had three brothers, and a sister. All loved him dearly. His father, Mark, spoke very lovingly of him, and his mother, Jeanette with his sister Kim sang a beautiful heartfelt rendition of “I Need Thee Every Hour.” Danny’s wife, Alyssa, read a soft love poem he wrote her. Hundreds attended Danny’s service. It was a warm, melancholy service, and all did their best to remember his life. Strangely, but not unexpectedly, I wasn’t sad for him.

Danny had some trouble with substance abuse, and he had for a number of years. It caught up with him. It wasn’t known to us whether his passing was intentional or accidental. Either way, I still care about him. I feel compassion, kindness and sympathy for his family and wife. Still, I can’t help but feel happy for Danny.

I remember Danny as being quiet, and unassuming. An old spirit, and a tall man, he had a large build, he was intelligent, and Danny was a handsome guy. I saw the deep intelligence in his eyes. Yet he had a humble presence. He never talked much, but he had a little bit of mischief in him, which of course, gave him some personality.

One day, I was standing at the entrance to my garage door. I don’t think Danny knew I was there, out of sight, but within 10 feet of my GMC Suburban. I had one because nothing towed a camping trailer like a Suburban. But, I’m pretty sure I had replaced about every mechanical part in about four years. It was detestable as a machine, but yet the family had lots of fun in it. It was an overcast morning, quiet, and you could hear the birds singing, and the insects buzzing. You know, like in the cartoons... You can hear the beginning of "The William Tell Overture..."

“CRACK!!!”

I remember the sharp report… It sounded like a small bore pistol being fired. Maybe a .22 caliber, it was close, and I looked around the wall, and I think Danny saw me and quickly stepped inside his front door and closed it to hide his obviously guilty face. He had a look of shock and surprise, because he didn’t expect me to appear and see him with the “weapon.”

It wasn’t a handgun, but a rather large and powerful looking slingshot. Having a rather keen grasp for the obvious, I quickly looked at the Suburban, and there in the left rear window was the telltale sign of a high-speed impact of a small projectile. Well, I wasn’t happy. What the heck?!! Why would Danny do that?!! I wasn’t a happy camper… I walked over to his front door, rang the bell, and Mark, his father appeared. He could see that it wasn’t going to exactly be a pleasant visit. I asked him if Danny had a slingshot, and Mark said he just got it for his birthday. We looked at my Suburban and the window, and now Mark wasn’t a happy camper... I told him I heard the crack, and saw Danny dash inside. Mark also had a pretty good idea what had happened. Mark thought Danny was mature enough to handle a slingshot responsibly, apologized to me, then he muttered something and went into house with a grim look on his face. Actually out of sight, I chuckled to myself, because, damn! It was a fine slingshot and I always wanted something like it when I was young. My Mom was totally against it, because, I might shoot someone’s eye out. Sheesh! I really wanted one. I also knew Danny was in deep kimchee…

When I saw Danny next, we never talked about it. We never went there. I knew; Danny knew that I knew, and that was enough. I paid for the window. It was less than my deductible. No need for apologies. A little grin from him, then me, and it was understood. I disliked that money pit of a Suburban. But, I’ve always liked Danny.

So, why would I not be sad for his passing in such a useless and preventable way?

Whatever the self describes, describes the self. (Jakob Boehme, 1575-1624). I’m pretty sure that Danny is fascinated with the universe. Maybe he doesn't understand it; maybe he doesn't understand his place in it. Sometimes the roles we play get in the way of connecting with our loved ones and growing. I’m pretty sure without knowing Danny very well that he was into experiencing life. It isn't a problem for Danny to solve; he wants to experience it. He wrote lovely poetry, he was a fitness instructor, and he got well above average grades in school. Mark was right… Danny is an enigma.  At least to some…

I read Danny’s Facebook page, and there was much to see and learn about him. Pictures of him smiling with his wife… Fragments of his quiet thoughts… Some small snippets of his self-assessments, all there and quite telling of his complex presence. You wouldn’t know that he had trouble with substances. But what shines brightly for me on his Facebook page is Danny’s humanity and the unsure courage of his intentions and purpose. And then it struck me like a bolt from the blue… There it was… His religious beliefs: Maybe a Buddhist…  Yes, Danny, whatever the self describes, describes the self. It is a bold statement for a LDS man to make. It was that statement that struck me so poignantly.

I’m pretty sure Danny was tired of his quiet emotional pain. Nothing can be worse than trying to control what can’t be controlled. Maybe Danny didn’t live his life like others wanted him to live. Maybe he didn’t let life live him. But he is still the hunter and warrior with the slingshot, and I think he knew we couldn’t hit anything if we don’t shoot. This time, maybe he missed his target. But reality is never too big for an open mind, and Danny’s mind is open to greater and boundless possibilities. Perhaps the venue of this existence wasn't enough for Danny’s spirit…

C. S. Lewis wrote in his book The Great Divorce; the spirit, who was about to pass through to heaven says, “Are those people right who say that heaven and hell are only states of mind?” The angel replies, “Ye cannot fully understand the relations of Choice and Time until you are beyond both. And ye were not brought here to study such curiosities. What concerns you is the nature of the choice itself: that ye can watch them making.”

In the movie The Matrix Reloaded, Oracle lovingly tells Neo, “We can never see past the choices we don’t understand.” Neo asks, “Why am I here? To make the choice?” Oracle, quietly states, “You’re not. You’ve already made it. You’re here to understand why you made the choice.”

All very Buddhist, and Christ would have almost certainly said such things. Danny made choices, perhaps they weren’t made in this existence, but nevertheless he made them. Some would have disagreed with many of his choices. I couldn’t second-guess him. My own knowledge is so limited. If God were all knowing, omnipotent, and powerful, then he wouldn’t limit himself in that way. Because our understanding of God is limited, we restrict God to our own limited beliefs. Then, we only distance ourselves from God. I don’t feel Danny was a limited spirit in the way most of us are in this existence. As someone has said, reality is always kinder than our thoughts. Yes, Danny . . . You describe yourself. . .

I’m so very proud of Danny! He's a beautiful spirit, so loving, so childlike, so expansive. In a wonderful way, I’m quite pleased he’s on a great adventure. He’s not in hell, but in his heaven. In our innocence of not knowing, in our wisdom of not needing to know, we can see that everything as it appears in the moment is always benevolent. That's why I'm not sad for him. . .

Danny, when it’s my time to pass from this existence, I’ll look you up. When I'm beyond being concerned about Choice and because I know I'm timeless, we'll find that Suburban (because all things are possible) and I’ll finally have that slingshot I’ve always wanted. Let’s shoot out ALL the windows, and laugh about it with great fun and take pleasure in our not knowing. We can do it now, if you'd like, Danny. I’m always pleased for you.

TC,
Michael

Copyright (C) 2010 Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Out of the Dark

Cable Trail, Tiger Mountain, Washington
January 4, 2013
1:39 pm PST

Out of the dark,

head on the clouds,

confused by the light,

stuck in this ground...

Extremes up here,

limits down there.
Have I lost my free will?

I'm set up for the kill...

I measure my self's

mirthless worth;

I wanna smash it, and 

end it's smothering grip. 

But I love these down 

slopes that pass me by...

They caress me and sing

softly of this life's why.

Insights silently served
like soft water torture, the

pounding drops mercilessly

shred me from within!

Can I end this 

self-inflicted 

frustration? 

Where do I begin?

But, I love it up here,

struggling, laughing,

listening to God, playing 

with the soothing wind.

So, I'll stay

here a while,

and befriend

this lofty peak.

With unbending intent,

I'll listen to the sun speak.

Perhaps joyfully,

I'll finally make the leap.  

Copyright (C) 2012 by Michael G. Hesley

All Rights Reserved

Explanation of "Clueless"

I'm the Air and the wind is time. Time is the human construct of our great countdown to death. Yet sometimes I feel like I'm Air and time together. Air is also my soul and my mercurial friend is my ego...

The ego shouts at the wind and tries to blast it away to no avail. So we learn, and just surrender to what is; and surrender to the idea that time cleanses all as it passes by quickly. Time rushes by and old age is upon us. Better to surrender to it and let time cleanse us vs. "spitting ino the wind." Self patiently and lovingly helps self while the ego shouts at the wind, spits into it, and after surrender, the self becomes satisfied.

While still alive, after we surrender our selves to our parallel eternal existences vs. the ego's clueless wanderings, senseless dreams, and foolish paths it takes in life, we are satisfied and become the impartial observer. Together the Self and the self realizes that it doesn't really matter.

Don Juan tells Carlos Castaneda to always keep in mind the four types of defeat of most of mankind: Fear, Clarity, Power, and Old Age. The self is stalked by the Self on the Path With a Heart and and the self learns to softly surrender to Death, and is not defeated by Old Age. Without the Self and the self working together, the human animal will be defeated by old age. 

It is how I finally managed to get the stuck "Airship" off the mountaintop... Something has happened, not sure what, but the "finally" ship moves. The self wanted to be in control, but only by continually surrendering to the Self was the ship unstuck. In this life, the Self and the reluctant self became "co-joined" commanders of the ship stuck on the mountaintop. I feel that I can travel like a warp-engined ship that time cannot defeat. The ship finally moves. It is an uneasy truce, but it seems to work. It took some "time" for that realization to catch up with this reality.

After realizing this, much that I thought was important, becomes unimportant. Death doesn't frighten, nor does aloneness. Please don't confuse this with Apathy. This feels very empowering...

TC,
M

Copyright (C) 2012 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved

Clueless

Cluelessly, I wonder
how my mind can wander,
secure in senseless dreams
and it's foolish blunders.

What is this noiseless place,
and why does the Air stalk me
with it's clear and unpleasant Grace?
Will the Air always agree with me?

Do I dare to dream of
parallel perceptions, and
forget the sweet cream
of my delusional expressions?

Shall I paint an invisible
"A" on my forehead to
advertise my Airy apathy
and emerge empty instead?

My mercurial friend,
let's shout into the wind!
Blast holes through it,
and foolishly spit!

Not sure? Then lets
calmly surrender,
and watch this high
existence slip past nigh.

Satisfied and alone,
we can watch the Air
while it cleanses us and
hurriedly flashes by...

Copyright (C) 2012 by Michael G. Hesley
All Rights Reserved